Thread: One for my brother

Dave

You and your family are very much in my thoughts today.

Regards
Paul

Originally Posted by Bushmiller

Dave

You and your family are very much in my thoughts today.

Regards
Paul

Thank you Paul and everyone else who as joined me on this journey.

Funeral is at 10. I finally got 'pen to paper' so to speak. Was up tilk gone midnight putting together a eulogy for my brother.

The support I have had here is something I imagine will never be matched again. Thank you all so much

Dave TTC
Turning Wood Into Art

All the best for an extremely tough day today Dave.

Hi Dave,
it will be a tough day for you all but everyone will be looking to you for the strength to get through so, chin up, deep breaths ...and go and make you brother even more proud of you!
we are all thinking of you,
fletty

Dave,

Dont worry too much about the eulogy - just speak from the heart. A funeral is the most understanding and forgiving crowd you can ever speak in front of. Not the easiest speech to make but the least critical crowd.

Talk of happy memories of Tim and all will go well

Good luck

Doug

PS: Stand with Tim's wife at the exit when everyone is coming out of the service. She will need your support right then.

One part is all over now. I did write a eulogy but ended up speaking mostly prom the heart I think. I didnt look at my script much at all.

If you knew my brother one of the final parts was a craker as his 'computer' spoke of Timothy. He would have loved it all I am sure.

RWBuild - Ray, was able to make it for the service. I walked down the street to the parlor and at the front doors about to go in Ray was the first person I saw. It was like seeing family, it was so good. Thx Ray

I know others would have been there if they could and I appreciate that and the messages, PM's and phone calls particularly over the last 24 hours or so. Thank you all.

As part of the funeral ended up catching up with an Aunty who dropped out of my life about 25 years ago. She is now keen to come and visit us in the country and loved my wife and kids.

Over the next few days I may post a copy of my eulogy, it is close to what was said. It may be a little long winded so understand some may skip it. Hopefully I did not put anyone to sleep this morning.

Tomorrow I will try and hang a door for my Sister-in-law and likely we will depart in the afternoon.

Dave TTC
Turning Wood Into Art

Timothy was one of three children to Laurence and Christine Lugg. I was first, 19 months later I had a baby brother Timothy. Almost 4 years later we had a little sister, Sally-Anne.

The 3 of us were dragged up as Christians. I say dragged up because mum and dad did not truly live by it. Being a Christian was in my mind the saving thing in our lives though all three of us failed to stick with it. What it did do was help mold us and I believe our best qualities are rooted in our Christian background.

As kids we grew up in a very disfunctional family particularly for the mid to late 70ies. Mum and dad had a very 'on again, off again' marriage. In those days it was rare not to live with both your parents when you went to school.

Dad was killed in a truck accident when Timothy was 12 and it was 10 days before I turned 14. I became the 'man of the house' as mum put it and I was always the big brother

I was kicked out of at 19. Three months later so was my brother. He came to live with me in shared accomodation. A little later he joined me again when I had moved to a house on my own until he set up in his own unit across town. Not long after this our baby sister was kicked out of home and she came to live with me.

Through our childhood it was always Tim and I as I then called him. We seldom had friends outside of school hours as we moved around to much to develop lasting childhood friends. We changed primary school 16 or 17 times. Timothy was always pulling things apart and seemed they never went back together, especially electronics and gadgets. He could have truly excelled at school but often found the work to menial. I missed the computer revolution at school by 12 months. Timothy got it and loved it but believe it or not he failed computers.

Last year a spoke to a man in Adelaide who was active in the computer industry. He was not friends with Timothy and did not personally know Timothy but he told me 'Anyone who is anyone from the computing industry in Adelaide and particularly programing knows Timothy by reputation. Love him or hate they all recognise he is brilliant'

How did someone like this fail computing at high school. At a parent teacher interview his teacher told my mum "it is frustrating but I had to fail him, I had no choice! Truth be told he knows more about computers than me but he just wont do the work, it is too menial for him."

Timothy was a computer genius, he could have been a rich rich man but often worked for nothing and it was not unheard of to hear of people taking advantage of him and under paying him.

At school when I was reading Tin Tin he was reading books on computer code and computer language. When I started work after year 11 Timothy continued at school. He was such a keen student he would go to the 'library' and study everyday after school, and mum believed it. Like it or not I was his big brother and it was not unheard of for mum to wake me at 2 or 3 in morning to go pick him up from the city because he had missed the last bus. Timothy was really studying at the academy of TimeZone. Did you know that TimeZone offered a masters in the ways of Pac Man and Space Invaders or whatever the latest arcade games were of the time. For those of you who might not have known you may have gathered TimeZone was in fact an ammusement arcade centre. Interesting thing Timezone .... if you hold your hand over the forth letter it reads Tim Zone and that is was.

The apples did not fall far from the tree in some respect. I too had a love of 'Tim Zone' and even went to a 'lock-in' for my bucks night from midnight till 6am. All the games you can play for $10.

In later life he had at least two American companies offer him a postion programing for them in the states not because of a resume but because of his reputation.

As a kid Timothy fancied himself as a kung-fu expert. He was always doing these punches and kicks that stop shy of contact. ... well let me correct that. He tried to be shy of contact. One day as I just stood unimpressed like a statue he did not stop shy of contact. He may not have been able to stop short of contact but man as the blood ran from my nose, he could 'jump a coffee table in a single bound'

We had fights, I mean real fights. It was not unusal for one or the other to draw blood. In my memory he always started and I was the peacemaker. Regardless of how or why and whatever fights there were we were just mates and did almost everything together.

A few years later I married. It would not be unusual for Timothy to come for dinner and stay the night. He would come with his Amiga 500 or Amiga 2000, whatever the latest tech was and we would play games to the wee hours. I moved away from Adelaide and lost touch with Timothy for about 8 years. There was nothing bad that went down between us, just I was gone and he was consumed with programing. When ever I spoke to mum I would ask how he was and she would often say how hard it was to track him down and get a hold of him.

Then in 2002 our mum had termianl cancer. We were all in Adelaide and caught up on lost time. Since then I have was there for him whenever he called and maintained regular contact. From time to time he was called on to help me, it was amazing how he could fix a computer

On Sunday just been I spent most of the day with him. During the day I read to Timothy and recounted various childhood memoreis with him. When Claudia arrived at the hospital in the evening I briefly went back to her house to have some tea and a shower. As I walked down the back streets to my car a smile came to my face. I was thinking about Timothy and as recounted our lives I was satisfied there is not a thing he ever asked of me that I did not do, I was his big brother and I always had his back.

Eric and Jade. Your dad loved you, he loved you a lot. He spent many hours talking to me about your welfare and your future. He wanted what is best for you. He wanted to be here forever but that was out of his control. Even in the last few weeks we spent a lot of time talking about you both and your future. I made a promise to your dad to always look out for you and do what ever I reasonably can for your welfare.

Timothy meeting Claudia was due to his love for his children. He met Claudia at an autism support group he was attending for Jade. Timothy had a big heart. A big big heart. In a short time he came to love Claudia and her family too. Only a couple of weeks before he died We were up visiting again. Timothy spent some time on Sunday playing video games with out kids. The day before I spent some one one time talking about the Eric and Jade. Claudia also came up. He said words to the effect, "Claudia is wonderful." I wish I had wrote it down but I will say it as best I can. .... "If I gave God a list of everything I want in woman Claudia is more than I could have ever imagined, she is just perfect."

Claudia, I have to agree. Children aside you are the best thing that has ever happened in Timothy's adult life. I can not imagine anyone treating him better than you. Thank you.

Timothy was my little brother and yet I looked up to him. I always was jealous when he outgrew me. You would see that in one of my wedding pictures as he towers above me. But even aside from the physical there were things that I looked up to him for.



Yes Timothy was my little brother and I loved him.


Dave TTC
Turning Wood Into Art

Thank-you for sharing with us.
kind regards
Joel

Dave

I am not quite sure if that was the essence of your eulogy, but assuming it was or very close there would not have been a dry eye in listening distance.

Regards
Paul

That eulogy helped me know your brother, Timothy, and your commitment to care for him, being the big brother and more.

I find it hard dealing with someone who has lost a loved one, so forgive me for being late in sending my condolences.

Dave I know how you feel, it would have to be one of the worst things, having to write and say about the life of a loved one, especially for a sibling who is younger than you.
With what you wrote, I feel that I know him, and you also, the hard lives that you all faced. It's amazing that people fail school because it fails them, by having to do simple work instead of giving them harder work, yet they aspire to greatness.
It was a lovely and fitting way to say goodbye to your brother Tim, may he RIP.
Kryn

Well done Dave. You brought a smile to my face whilst I read your eulogy; the first smile I've had regarding your brother's illness and passing. These are obviously the memories that you will continue to cherish. Thank you for sharing them with us.

Craig

What a wonderful eulogy Dave
Well done
Matt

Just leaving Sydney now


Dave

The Turning Cowboy