Thread: Confused

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

I pulled the plug this morning, just upped and walked out. Told her I had enough. Didn't even hear a word she said.

So sorry to hear that. I hope for your children's sake that you can find an amicable solution. The use of children as a bargaining tool is despicable.

On the subject of recordings, I can't offer advice but with text messages I am fairly certain they are admissable so be careful what you send and save everything you receive.

I'm afraid I don't hold lawyers generally in high esteem, but I do have a sister-in-law who is a family court specialist and reputedly ethical. She has acted for a friend of mine (on two occasions now) and he told me she had said he should sort it out with his ex. Her advice was you can end up paying the lawyer a lot or come to an arrangement and pay your other half a lot less.

Unfortunately it seems to be human nature that one or other party becomes vindictive and reason flys out the window.

My sister-in-law operates out of the Newcastle region if that is any help, but I don't know where you are. PM if I can help.

Either way good luck to you.

Regards
Paul

Originally Posted by Bushmiller

On the subject of recordings, I can't offer advice but with text messages I am fairly certain they are admissable so be careful what you send and save everything you receive.

ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY! Ask P.Slipper.

You can save a lot of money by doing many things yourselves. You can also get done like a dinner, and with Dorothy's current high emotional state, that can be a concern.

NEVER (at any time) say you can have the house and this and that, and at the moment, don't even think about it let alone discuss it.

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

She gets close to 3-4 hours a day for her hobby,

Uuuum. Is that when the kids are there? Not exactly time all to herself. :S If the kids are there it means she has to jump when they need her and she has to have an ear out for them all the time. Anyway......

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

I pulled the plug this morning, just upped and walked out. Told her I had enough. Didn't even hear a word she said.

So sorry to hear.


Maybe she wasn't coping either? It would be very hard when partner is working shift, cos even though you are "there" all day you aren't "available". Anyway...... if there really isn't anything left between you its prolly best.

Originally Posted by tea lady

Uuuum. Is that when the kids are there? Not exactly time all to herself. :S If the kids are there it means she has to jump when they need her and she has to have an ear out for them all the time.

Get up in the morning, take the kids to school/kinder, then go down to the kennel club (her hobby). Stay there, with the dog, go and pick up the kids and come home. Non school days, take the kids with her to the kennel club or if I'm at home, I stay at home with the kids. She eats, breaths and lives her dog. She wanted to buy another to start breeding. That's where I drew the line. I'd would of liked to draw the line at the dog sleeping in our room but that (was) un-discussable. Large dog, farts, licking, scratching during night etc etc.

A mate from work happened to call me as I was driving out the driveway to swap a shift. I ended up blabbing to him all that had happened and now I'm shacked up at his place. A pleasant surprise. She has since called (numerous times) to talk about what she didn't want to talk about. I've put a number of things on the table to talk about, a couple she is reluctant to discuss. Until she will discuss, I won't go back. I suppose it's a start. One thing she did say was that she didn't see this coming (!!!!!) and, I quote, "didn't think I had the balls to walk out". At least the threats to withdraw access to the children has been withdrawn and I'll pick them up tomorrow morning and will take them to Puffing Billy.

Thank you everyone for your kind help. This is not the ideal place to air your dirty laundry but it's been cathartic and has enabled me to empower myself. I feel a little bit taller.

Congratulations on moving up the family hierarchy; you now seem to rate almost equal to the dog!

Tip. Don't go for breeding large dogs...the poop load is incredible!

DD this is good news but why just take the kids its your wife and you which need the time together not the wife and the dog.

If I recall when I started here on this forum its was a haven for all and your not the first to bring this sort of thing to the forum. You however did it different by using a new name.

Beware of so called mates they sometimes see a window of opportunity.

Originally Posted by wheelinround

DD this is good news but why just take the kids its your wife and you which need the time together not the wife and the dog.

Yeah, it is good Ray but at the same time, in the past, I've got her to commit to stuff but she's reneged after everything had blown over. This time everything is straight down the line until some meaningful action and dialogue has occurred.

Beside, she's going to work and the kids need someone to look after them. Anyway, going to pick them up at 11am today, can't wait

Originally Posted by wheelinround

If I recall when I started here on this forum its was a haven for all and your not the first to bring this sort of thing to the forum. You however did it different by using a new name.

I know a few have guessed who I am and that doesn't bother me, I just don't want my other online name mixed up with this mess.

Originally Posted by wheelinround

Beware of so called mates they sometimes see a window of opportunity.

He (I didn't know this) had a particularly vicious marriage break up a few years ago and has offered some meaningful advice. He lives alone, is my age and is a quite an unobtrusive sort of person. He doesn't drink or smoke (ticks some good boxes there for me) and likes the quiet life. I think he's a good haven so far.

Well that is quite possibly the start of a good result, and of course you'll both have to carry through on it.

If the fact that you were prepared to leave (and did so) was enough to galvanise her into action then you made the perfect choice, and apparently without much drama.

The negotiations will still be tricky, and beware of "I'll do everything you've asked for" because I would view that as just trying to get you back into the house, only to go back to the status quo in the near future. I think negotiations always go better when one of the parties (in this case you) puts something on offer from left field (i.e. not requested by the other party). It's a very good way of showing that you are dinkum about it, and reasonable, and probably more importantly - generous, especially as you are the mainly aggrieved party.

I wish you the very best of good fortune with it (luck has nothing to do with it).

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

Yeah, it is good Ray but at the same time, in the past, I've got her to commit to stuff but she's reneged after everything had blown over. This time everything is straight down the line until some meaningful action and dialogue has occurred.

Beside, she's going to work and the kids need someone to look after them. Anyway, going to pick them up at 11am today, can't wait



I know a few have guessed who I am and that doesn't bother me, I just don't want my other online name mixed up with this mess.



He (I didn't know this) had a particularly vicious marriage break up a few years ago and has offered some meaningful advice. He lives alone, is my age and is a quite an unobtrusive sort of person. He doesn't drink or smoke (ticks some good boxes there for me) and likes the quiet life. I think he's a good haven so far.

Still its progress and your going to have a ball of a day take the camera steam is good just don't blow your boiler, hope it lets off some though.

Still its not the fellow in particular I meant but beware.

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

I know a few have guessed who I am and that doesn't bother me, I just don't want my other online name mixed up with this mess.

And it's an indication of the high regard they hold you in that they haven't spilled the beans of who Dorothy really is.

Peter.

Okay, I'm back home. More out of nagging and sheer persistence on her part. I suppose it shows how keen she is to get things back on track, and so am I (plus, I missed the shed ). The house was up-side-down when I got home but I'm not going to fix it, I've got more things on my mind to attend to at the moment, like our relationship and the missed piggy backs down the hallway

You gave in just for a shed well done

Originally Posted by Dorothy Dix

I've got more things on my mind to attend to at the moment, like our relationship and the missed piggy backs down the hallway

Working on those is more important then working in the shed. The shed can wait but relationships and spending time with the kids can not.


Peter.

Ps. I presume the kids get the piggy backs and not the missus. Maybe giving her piggy backs as well will help.