Thread: Howard's Way

Howard of the Overflow...

I had written him a letter, which I had, for want of better

Knowledge, sent to where I met him at the wheat board, years ago.

He was chairman when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him

Just on spec, to make the point that "Howard doesn't want to know".

And an e-mail came directed, not entirely unexpected

(And I think the same was written in some Middle Eastern bar).

'Twas his CEO who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:

"Trevor Flugge's gone to Baghdad, and we don't know where he are.

But when he left Australia, he was going to meet with Alia,

A trucking mob in Jordan, who were keen to grease the wheels.

For 10 percent commission, they could swing Saddam's permission

To get our wheat accepted; it's the mother of all deals.

But I guarantee, Prime Minister, that there's nothing at all sinister.

The chaps at DFAT told us that the sums looked quite okay.

When you're selling wheat in billions, what's a quick 300 million?

If it keeps the Nationals happy, it's a tiny price to pay."

Sitting here at Kirribilli, I've been thinking, willy-nilly,

That it's somehow reminiscent of the children overboard:

But I can handle Rudd and Beazley, as I always do, quite easily

By endlessly protesting that there's nothing untoward.

I'll tell Bush next time I meet him at The White House, when I greet him,

That I'm sure he'll understand about the wheat board's quid pro quo.

He'll forgive this minor error in the global war on terror

When I look him in the eye and tell him Howard didn't know.