Thread: The joys of ageing

Good post Timless, but clearly awfully, bloody, f*****g frustrating for you too.

I suppose none of ever imagine we will actually become old, even if our age does increase. Myself, I'm in denial and try to avoid probing questions about my age. I have taken to sheepishly informing curious people that I am close to sixty, but I don't know how long I can do that without the inevitable looks that say "Poor bas*ard; Must have had a hard life."

I do know that as you age the invulnerability of youth diminishes at an exponential rate. Apparently until about age twenty five the male thinks he is bullet proof, which probably goes a long way to explaining all those young men who signed up voluntarily for the two world wars.

As we age we really have to take more care as we just do not repair and heal as well as we once did. For example I built a house as I was approaching early middle age and during the course of it's construction I slipped off the roof twice. I was fairly agile at that time and there was no more damage done than a little bark removed from my arms (from the heads of the roofing screws) and a severely damaged pride. In fact I had some mates present on one of those occasions and they pointed out that if I didn't get back on the roof right sharpish and pull my weight they were going home .

Just recently I had to get up on the same roof again to help the electrician with relocation of the power supply. I became acutely aware of how I might not survive another slide off the roof and built a timber "hook" to keep me up on the roof. Despite being bionic, I'm not confident the titanium and ceramics would hold together the way the OE did.

Just returning to Ern's original post and the weight issue it is normal to, how shall I put this, "thicken" as we get older. One cause of this is that as we slow down we should eat less, but we don't. Poor diet and other factors compound this problem. People who know me probably think of me as slim, but I look at myself and think "holy ####" I have to do something about this.

SWMBO seems to think I'm better to cuddle nowadays. I guess it's all relative .

Regards
Paul

TT, thanks for the post. I wept and laughed at the same time.

Bleeding idiots.

FWIW I went grey early, and got offended at chemists and other shops when asked 'Senior's Card'?

Bushmiller, my roof is waiting for some work and I've never been bitten by your kind of fall but know that my reaction times and 'bounce back' aren't really good enough any more. At the same time I'll hate having to pay someone to do it when I would've if I could've

We have an electrician shaped dent in our veranda roof. We were the last job he'd did before he called it a day. No damage to him but I think he was relieved when the job was over.

Originally Posted by jimbur

We have an electrician shaped dent in our veranda roof. We were the last job he'd did before he called it a day. No damage to him but I think he was relieved when the job was over.

Jim

Sounds like he went out with a bang .

Regards
Paul

With age comes wisdom. I wish!!!!

I fell off a roof when a little younger. I no longer attend to roof problems. Wisdom.

I ran my right hand through the table saw late last year. Lack of wisdom.

I was bitten by an angry carpet snake last year. Lack of wisdom.

I (we ) lent a trusted friend 9g 5 years ago. Now In court. Getting wiser financially.

I could go on but I think you get the point!

Originally Posted by rsser

Loved Ronnie Corbett's comment about getting old: when he got down to tie his shoelaces he asked himself what else he could do while he was down there.

chambezio: read up on BMI. It's an indicator dreamt up by actuaries. Not to say it's not relevant but it needs interpreting.

And the index magically changes the day you turn 65!!

I was bitten by an angry carpet last year.

Well, I've heard of carpet burns, but never carpet bites.

Originally Posted by AlexS

Well, I've heard of carpet burns, but never carpet bites.

Fixt!!!!

I received an email this morning on Bob Hope. I thought some of his quotes might be appropriate to Ern's OP.

ON TURNING 70
'I still chase women, but only
Downhill.

ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'

ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'

ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact,I don't feel
Anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'


Something to look forward to .

Regards
Paul

Originally Posted by powderpost

I am finding that as I get older I am getting taller, either that or the ground seems further away.
Jim

I have also noticed that there's more gravity around than when I was younger. just don't understand it

Also there's some sort of conspiracy going, everybody around me is talking in whispers

Originally Posted by hughie

I have also noticed that there's more gravity around than when I was younger. just don't understand it Also there's some sort of conspiracy going, everybody around me is talking in whispers

Not only is there more gravity but it keeps moving from side to side.

Thanks guys. Some good belly laughs here; I feel better now to quote a phrase.

hughie I'd send you up my hearing aids for a try out, if I could remember where I put them.

On the other hand selective hearing can be an advantage but to manage it convincingly you have to be on the ball.

Ern, that reminds of one of the "Ned and his Neddy" cartoons from the sixties.

Two blokes standing in the bar with one obviously rabitting on, the other with
a bored look on his face.

Two others a bit further along, one saying to the other"By cripes Bert's a rude old
bugger. He's been standing there listening to that bloke for hours - with his hearing aids turned off".

Now that myself and most of my friends are in our mid 50s,I have started to notice that none of us seem to be able to get up out of a chair without going oooh eeeeh aaah.
The old bones aint what they used to be.