Thread: Lawyers

Yes but do lawyers cook good pancakes?

I know one with a Fender Stratocaster.

P

As my old grandaddy used to say" hanging's too good for them, what they need is a good kick up the ****!"

beejay1

See signature below.

I love that signiture!

Three hours so far......

Oh, and on the subject of lawyers, here is an excerpt from an actual piece of advice I received yesterday

The only outstanding issue on clause XXXX was barring of future Claims, which is a broadly defined term. The clause has now been amended so that it refers to a "claim" rather than a "Claim". For the sake of certainty to ensure that there is no doubt "claim" is not interpreted as "Claim", I propose the following sentence be added: "For the sake of certainty, use of the word "claim" is not to be attributed with the meaning of "Claim" as defined in clause XXX"

Can anyone cast any light on how I can respond???

P

Yes but it would just come out as one word surrounded by a lot of asterisks...

Here it is Midge, you don't need all that legal ease, Clear as the Yarra River in full flow


claim (klām)
tr.v., claimed, claim·ing, claims.

1. To demand, ask for, or take as one's own or one's due: claim a reward; claim one's luggage at the airport carousel.
2. To take in a violent manner as if by right: a hurricane that claimed two lives.
3. To state to be true, especially when open to question; assert or maintain: claimed he had won the race; a candidate claiming many supporters.
4. To deserve or call for; require: problems that claim her attention.

n.

1. A demand for something as rightful or due.
2. A basis for demanding something; a title or right.
3. Something claimed in a formal or legal manner, especially a tract of public land staked out by a miner or homesteader.
4. 1. A demand for payment in accordance with an insurance policy or other formal arrangement.
   2. The sum of money demanded.
5. A statement of something as a fact; an assertion of truth: makes no claim to be a cure.

idiom:

lay claim to

1. To assert one's right to or ownership of.

[Middle English claimen, from Old French clamer, claim-, from Latin clāmāre, to call.]

claim'a·ble adj.
claim'er n. SYNONYMS claim, pretense, pretension, title. These nouns refer to a legitimate or asserted right to demand something as one's due: had a legal claim to the property; makes no pretense to scholarliness; justified pretensions to the presidency; has no title to our thanks. See also synonyms at demand.

Originally Posted by bitingmidge

Can anyone cast any light on how I can respond???

Quite simple and clear to me provided you tell me the definition of Claim in terms of section xxx.

Must have been written by a tax lawyer.


Peter.

Most people have heard of the darwin awards, but have you heard of the Stella awards? (named after the woman who was awarded 2.9 million US after spilling hot Mcdonalds coffee on herself).



here are some contenders:January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle, tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little fellow was Ms. Robertson's son.



June 1998: 19 year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.



October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pa., was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found in the garage and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of a half million dollars.



October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The dog was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard at the time. Mr. Williams was also in the fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was repeatedly shooting it with a pellet gun.



December 1997: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pa., $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.



December 1997: Kara Walton of Clamont, DE. successfully sued the owner of a night club when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I know this is probably more of a yank disease than Aussie, but since it disgusts me so much I thought I'd share all the same. hope you had a good laugh,
-ryan

Snopes would appear to question some or all of these incidents?

Originally Posted by Sturdee

Quite simple and clear to me provided you tell me the definition of Claim in terms of section xxx.

Must have been written by a tax lawyer.
.

Better still:

I emailed him this afternoon and told him I was going to treat his Invoice as an invoice!!!


P

BM

Keep us informed what he does about your claim to treat his Invoice as an invoice!!!!!!

Originally Posted by bitingmidge

Better still:

I emailed him this afternoon and told him I was going to treat his Invoice as an invoice!!!


P

It is not a question of whether it is an Invoice or invoice but whether it is a Tax Invoice or Tax invoice or tax Invoice or tax invoice. Better email him and ask for a clarification amendment.


Peter.