Some opinions needed

**artme** · 23rd August 2013, 03:01 PM

I think we all enjoyed Mutawintji's little who am I posts.

I particularly liked the one on Cognitive dissonance.

Here is a scenario that is very real for me at the moment:

A fellow asks for a loan of $10 000 to finish house renovations so he can sell the property to settle some debts.
The person approached says no, but I will help you out bit by bit as you your tasks arise I will will go with
you as you purchase products and pay for them with my credit card
Just pay me back when all is finished. He begs for his wife not to be told. This is agreed to.

Work is virtually finished finished and the borrower approaches the lender and asks if he would like to buy the house.
Lender agrees, price settled, contract signed with now conditional clauses. Lender is obviously soft hearted and soft headed.

Borrower begs off paying the debt.

When the matter goes to court the borrower answers the lender's demands for payment with a statement containing
many falsehoods and exaggerations. He, the borrower is adamant that he has done landscaping work on the property
concerned which, surprise surprise , almost equates exactly t to the amount lent to him.

The borrower is so adamant that the lender's proof is lies proof is "lies" that he sticks to his story and adds to it.

My reading of this is that the borrower is displaying cognitive dissonance.
His wife finally found out about the debt when the bailiff arrived, the excrement hit the rapidly rotating blades of the ventilation device
and the borrower has concocted a story to cover his tracks.

What say all ye thoughtful ones about this??

**enelef** · 23rd August 2013, 03:58 PM

Interesting Question Artme
IMHO - they are lying piece of the matter of faeces.

At best they are a relatively unbalanced individual with an overinflated sense of self who has created a world where they are the centre and all revolves around them.
This leads to the situation where once they start the lie - they believe it and the situation they have created emphatically. To them it is real. These types and their peccadilloes are typically know to all friends and associates - depending on the severity of the issue.

At worst they were working a con and got caught - whether consciously to work the con or unconsciously to take advantage of the ongoing situation. Once caught they sought to minimise the damage to themselves and project the blame to the third party.
The continual escalation of the creative fabric (as it were) seems to indicate the second scenario.

To me - cognitive dissonance is more about thinking one way your whole life then having the truth explained and the realisation of that truth. It is the uncomfortable feeling you get at that exact time while you struggle to re-lay the thought tracks in your brain.

But then- i could be wrong now and about experience said same.......

**artme** · 23rd August 2013, 10:25 PM

No matter what way this is viewed it is a very uncomfortable and disconcerting scenario.

A further piece of information. The borrower and the lender were once the greatest of friends.

**Sebastiaan56** · 24th August 2013, 07:45 AM

I run into these kinds all the time running a business. They are professional scuzzers, I back away the moment they ask for something with only promises to offer in return. Some build huge castles of lies around themselves.

Cognitive dissonance is much more profound. It happens to some degree every time you learn something and your mind rearranges how something works. Or doesn't rearrange and you need to live a paradox for a while.

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