Thread: Party Tricks

Originally Posted by journeyman Mick

Next morning he was on board same time as usual. We had a surreptitious look a few days later and the spud was still there but we noticed the exhaust was broken in front of the axle. By about that time though he'd figured out that we were good workers and not part of the problem and we were getting on alright. Never told him about the spud though

My youngest bro's first car was an XY he decked out as a GT-HO lookalike, but with more modern running gear. Dual stainless-steel exhausts, very lumpy cam, etc., etc. With the compression on the beast my other bro and I thought we'd try two spuds up each exhaust... not a good idea.

If the young 'un had found out who blew the crap out of his nice, new, expensive mufflers he'd have been the eldest (surviving) child.

When I was an apprentice our supervisor used to creep up behind us when we were soldering and flick us on the ear, result was shoving soldering iron into finger, payback time.
He had a new Holden Brougham (equivalant of todays Senator I suppose) and we rigged up one of those huge penny bungers behind his hubcap with a gas lighter element attached to the fuse, connected all to the ignition circuit so when he finished for the day we would get to see his hubcap fly off.
Bloody thing worked alright, blew a bloody hole in the hubcap and we got to pay for a new one:mad:
We got paid under $20 a week then and I think the new hubcap was just shy of $10.
Same place we had a storeman who was as thick as two short planks, we would get a couple of caps and charge them, go to the store and drop a box of caps on the floor and put these amongst them, he would bristle over, tell us to bugger off and pick them all up, zap
Worked every time.

We had a paininabum Pommy tiler in our workshop in the North west. He rode his bike to work everyday and would proclaim loudly all the bloody time that we were nought but colonial scum etc. Even though this twat only had to ride his grid about 2kms from the single mens to work he would deck himself out in all the clobber and called himself (loudly of course) a "Cyclist". Mate and I got sick of him so one morning, as soon as he went out on the job we tied a lump of line to the cross bar of his treadly and hauled it up into the top of the workshop, about 25feet. He knocked off work, went to hop on his bike and couldn't find it anywhere..... he promptly called the coppers! The boys in blue turned up next day and the whereabouts of said purloined pcycle were disclosed to the officers. They told the owner of said purloined pcycle that "investigations were continuing"..... It took that moaning mongrel nearly three weeks to find his bike and it was only about 12 feet or so above his bloody head!

Disclaimer: this bloke just happened to be a Pom, if he had been from anywhere else in the entire bloody universe he would still have been a whinging, moaning, ignorant,arrogant wanker....

Thanks Christopha, that reminded me of an incident a few years back, sitting in the centre of Victoria Parade with a few friends after leaving a restaurant saw a young bloke with his treadly walking with his girlfriend, he spotted a telstra post, those metal things about 8" across that stick out of the ground about a metre high.
He leans his treadly up against this and proceeds to wrap a chain around it about 4 times and padlocks it and dissapears into a nearby coffee shop.
This was too much for me, I went over and lifted the whole thing off the little pole, walked it around the corner and dropped it over another one.
This was about 1am and about 10 minutes later said cretin emerges from coffee shop and shrieks in absolute terror, his pride and joy is gone, he runs around in circles for a few minutes then goes around the corner and there it is, he goes to his precious machine, checks the chain and the padlock, all intact and he is absolutely bewildered, meanwhile, four of us in the middle of the nature strip are rolling around p issing ourselves, it was just so hilarious, he heard and saw us, threw his head in the air and strolled off.
Probably an engineering student.

Originally Posted by Iain

Probably an engineering student.

Geez mate! I reckon that your average engineering student can probably figure out that a post ain't all that secure. You don't happen to be a bitter technician do you?

Originally Posted by CameronPotter

You don't happen to be a bitter technician do you?

No, but didn't go to LaTrobe Uni either

hmmmm, similar.... many years ago I was parked in Strathalbyn SA opposite a deli. Outside of the deli was a phone box and a letter box. Young bloke pulls up in his Mini Moke, jumps out and heads in to the shop. Out of a Valiant jump 4 or 5 blokes, pick the Moke up and put it on the footpath. BETWEEN the letter box and the phone box. There was about 6" to spare either end! The dastardly gang then raced back to their car and hid. The bemused look on the owners face was amazing, he was stunned, he peered all up and down the street and the only people he could see were me and my girlfriend and I just kept shaking my head at him. I stayed for some time and watched as I was laughing too much to drive!

Originally Posted by Iain

Thanks Christopha, that reminded me of an incident a few years back, sitting in the centre of Victoria Parade with a few friends after leaving a restaurant saw a young bloke with his treadly walking with his girlfriend, he spotted a telstra post, those metal things about 8" across that stick out of the ground about a metre high.
He leans his treadly up against this and proceeds to wrap a chain around it about 4 times and padlocks it and dissapears into a nearby coffee shop.
This was too much for me, I went over and lifted the whole thing off the little pole, walked it around the corner and dropped it over another one.
This was about 1am and about 10 minutes later said cretin emerges from coffee shop and shrieks in absolute terror, his pride and joy is gone, he runs around in circles for a few minutes then goes around the corner and there it is, he goes to his precious machine, checks the chain and the padlock, all intact and he is absolutely bewildered, meanwhile, four of us in the middle of the nature strip are rolling around p issing ourselves, it was just so hilarious, he heard and saw us, threw his head in the air and strolled off.
Probably an engineering student.

It that my insides? Is that my spleen? Christ I've just laughed my guts out.

When I was in Venturers (Senior Scouts) we had a scout olympics at Cecil Plains in QLD. There was this really pompous venturer from brisbane that had driven out in his mini. That night when he was asleep 8 of us lifted his mini up onto the semitrailer that was the presentation stage. The Next mornig all we heard was "Where the F### is my car", followed by "You F##cking Bastrads"

In my school days, we had a not very popular teacher that drove around in one of those froggy cars with hydraulic suspension. Citroen? About once a month in my last year there, someone'd lift the front end off the ground and the wheels'd fold underneath, so when lowered back down it was practically resting on the hubcaps.

Fantastic engineering design.

KIWI do you have 12 gauge nostrils? I tried it, and the oysters are too big and break up, what brand do you use?

I had a "Coffee Thief" at work, sharing my tin of coffee uninvited. My leading hand eventually told me about him doing it. His next cup of stolen coffee was a bit of a shock to his system. He had the habit of standing close by me, and drinking MY coffee, to further enhance his enjoyment.

This time, he began licking his lips and he began to pant a bit. I told my leading hand to get his car ready for an emergency dash with this mongrel. The leading hand got worried and quizzed the bloke, and they asked me what was going on as his mouth throat and lips were burning. I told them I'd just stoppped him from stealing . . . for good. The leading hand bundled him off to the nurse, and I went about my job. I eventually told the foreman who asked me, that I had mixed cayenne pepper, black pepper, and Gravox with a third of a cup of coffee to make my own special blend. Very effective, and very scary for him.

Road kill rabbit or the odd rootail wrapped high on a blokes muffler works a real treat.
But not nearly as good as a pack of white bait into a toyotas air con condenser or a kilo pack of mulies(pilchards) strategically placed under the backseat.
I often wonder wether he enjoyed driving in near freezing conditions in the desert with all the windows down.

I was sharing a place with a few blokes at one stage back in my Uni days. One of the guys drove a Suzuki Hatch. For those of you who might not be familiar with them they are tiny and don't weigh much. One time when he had it parked in a single car garage where we lived, myself and a couple of the other blokes lifted it up and spun it around 90 degrees. The result was a distance of only a few inches between the front of the car and one wall and the back of the car and the other wall. When next he headed to the garage to take his car out for a spin we followed him to see the reaction. He called us every name in the book while he did about a 50-point turn to get his car out.

Once we'd seen his initial reaction, if he'd asked we would have happily lifted the car up and spun it around another 90-degrees so that he could drive straight out of the garage. He didn't ask, so we watched him go back and forth for ages slowly working the car around so that he could drive out un-assisted.

At a party make a couple of lammingtons with marmite or vegemite instead of chocolate and put them on a plate with the real ones and watch the reaction as they are eaten.