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Thread: Ordering Pizza

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Woodstock (Cowra)
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    2,801

    Default Ordering Pizza

    Ordering a Pizza in 2022



    CALLER:

    Is this Pizza Hut?



    GOOGLE:

    No sir, it's Google Pizza.



    CALLER:

    I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.



    GOOGLE:

    No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.



    CALLER:

    OK. I would like to order a pizza.



    GOOGLE:

    Do you want your usual, sir?



    CALLER:

    My usual? You know me?



    GOOGLE:

    According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you

    ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni,

    mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.



    CALLER:

    Super! Thatís what Iíll have.



    GOOGLE:

    May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,

    sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?



    CALLER:

    What? I donít want a vegetarian pizza!



    GOOGLE:

    Your cholesterol is not good, sir.



    CALLER:

    How the hell do you know that?



    GOOGLE:

    Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

    We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.



    CALLER:

    Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take

    medication for my cholesterol.



    GOOGLE:

    Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According

    to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at

    Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.



    CALLER:

    I bought more from another Pharmacy.



    GOOGLE:

    That doesnít show on your credit card statement.



    CALLER:

    I paid in cash.



    GOOGLE:

    But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.



    CALLER:

    I have other sources of cash.



    GOOGLE:

    That doesnít show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using

    an undeclared income source, which is against the law!



    CALLER:

    WHAT THE HELL!



    GOOGLE:

    I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of

    helping you.



    CALLER:

    Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp

    and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where

    there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.



    GOOGLE:

    I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6

    weeks ago...



    Welcome to the future
    The person who never made a mistake never made anything

    Cheers
    Ray

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    Sunbury, Vic
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    Default

    Closer to the truth than we might like.
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
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    Parkside - South Australia
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    Default

    At least it seems to be getting more streamlined ..... Imagine if it was 2015 again

    Ordering A Pizza In 2015
    Now proudly sponsored by Binford Tools. Be sure to check out the Binford 6100 - available now at any good tool retailer.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Melbourne
    Posts
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    Default

    Lol lol lol lol - Matthew Phillips | Facebook

    Kind of similar, lol.

    Cheers Matt.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,922

    Default

    Love it, just have to send it to a couple of friends who insist that they can “do” everything (safely) on their phones.
    Regards,
    Bob

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

  7. #6
    Join Date
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    Riverhills, Brisbane
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    Default

    Over the last couple of weeks, I've been watching some of those cute dog rescue vids where the poor sad mistreated canine is rescued and brought back to health....now I have noticed in the last few days that I am being inundated with Facebook ads for Dog Ramps and foldable stairs for the car to aid the dogs ....leashes....restraint pods for your pet that slip into the back seat of the car....I DON'T OWN A DOG !

  8. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Woodstock (Cowra)
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    Default

    I've stopped using google as my search engine and now use duckduck go, the number of trackers has dropped by 80% and I no longer get topics popping up related to anything I may have searched for also works the same on mobile as well.
    I don't do FB or any other of that crap either
    The person who never made a mistake never made anything

    Cheers
    Ray

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Helensburgh
    Posts
    6,772

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rwbuild View Post
    I've stopped using google as my search engine and now use duckduck go, the number of trackers has dropped by 80% and I no longer get topics popping up related to anything I may have searched for also works the same on mobile as well.
    I don't do FB or any other of that crap either
    I don't see any adverts at all for anything and the only social media I use are fora such as this one and not many of those. YouTube pushes my watch history with recommendations but that can be changed at any time by expunging your watch history. Not seeing ads on YT has resulted in some changes lately, now a lot of videos come up initially with what appears to be an error asking you to return later but if you wait for a while the video does start. My phone never gets used for data so no ads there either, in fact it rarely gets used.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
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    Blackalls Park NSW 2283
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    1

    Default Knowin

    Knowing the Truth will set us all free

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
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    137

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skot View Post
    Over the last couple of weeks, I've been watching some of those cute dog rescue vids where the poor sad mistreated canine is rescued and brought back to health....
    I think I know the vids you mean skot and I'm not sure they aren't a bit of a scam. If they're the same ones, they seem to be in Europe somewhere (Spain. Italy, not sure) and they end up asking for donations. I've begun to wonder if they're kosher.
    Pete

  12. #11
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    Riverhills, Brisbane
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    Default

    Pete,
    These are from The Dodo and are mainly from USA. Have never seen any request for donations.

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    137

    Default

    Just taken a look at The Dodo and they look good. They're not the ones I'm thinking of. I'll see if I can find the name and you can take a look and tell me what you think. It could be I'm just paranoid but there are so many scams out there these days...

    Pete

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    137

    Default

    FWIW, here's a link to a YT post on fake animal rescue channels. Some are straight out animal abusers (snakes attacking kittens who are then 'rescued' in the nick of time' - or not). Some ask for donations. Many are linked to 'puppy farms'.

    YouTube's Fake Animal Rescue Channels - YouTube

    Pete

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