Is there really a Santa ???

**lesmeyer** · 22nd December 2005, 10:59 PM

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300 000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of
3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
there's at least one child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is
to say that for each Christian household with children, Santa has 1/823rd
of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the
stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever
snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh
and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million
stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to
be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are
now talking about.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million
miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31
hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3 000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest manmade
vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 35 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),
the sleigh is carrying 321 300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight or nine.
We need 214 200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting
the weight of the sleigh - to 353 430 tons. Again, for comparison - this
is four times the weight of the QE II.

5) 353 000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In
short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17 500.06 times
greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4 315 015 pounds of force.

In conclusion -

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

**Wongo** · 22nd December 2005, 11:09 PM

What a load of rubbish!

**DavidG** · 22nd December 2005, 11:14 PM

Unfortunately the author of the above is stuck in the world of the physical. He/she has yet to learn of other dimensions where time is but a name, mass does not exist and all other scientific rules may or may not apply depending upon the will at that time.

In this world Santa may arrive at one house, check his book, fill the stockings, sit down and drink the milk and cookies then depart but actually taking no time at all.
His sack never empties no mater what he takes from it, nor does it weigh much.

For those that do not believe in this I feel real sad as a piece of magic has left you

and I told Santa not to bring you a new table saw.

**rick_rine** · 22nd December 2005, 11:18 PM

How can you ever doubt his existence . You must be blind . Just last week I saw him at K-mart , Woolies , Norman Ross , Harris Scarffe , Coles , walking down the street and outside the local hotel all in the same day .

**Driver** · 23rd December 2005, 12:00 AM

Yes, Les. There is a Santa Claus and if you're a good lad he'll bring you lots of toys. If you're a bad lad, he'll probably climb down your chimney and deliver a swift kick.

And if you belive in half of the pseudo-scientific claptrap in your post above, well, all I can say is, you've been reading too much. Get back out to the shed and make some sawdust!

Now - no more questioning of Santa's existence, you'll disturb all the tender young minds that inhabit these forums.

Merry Christmas!

**oges** · 23rd December 2005, 06:37 AM

if you watch Polar Express you will notice that time stops so he has plenty time to zip around the place .... its in a movie so it must be true

**Wongo** · 23rd December 2005, 10:59 PM

Exactly DavidG, you got it right mate. I mean human beings are so one dimensional and we just can’t think outside the square.

I found the above calculations incorrect. Here are so more facts,

1) it is a well known fact that 20% of kids are naughty so they get squat. So Santa’s workload should be 302 million kids instead of 378 million.
2) most toys these days are less than 2 pounds. A barbie is less then 2 pounds, DVDs, CDs, Xbox games are less then 2 pounds. And who they hell wants lego set anyway?
3) Finally lets not forget the contributions from thousands of Santa’s little helpers. And these days 80% of the delivery are outsourcing to India. So with a bit of luck he might not have to do anything at all.

**JDarvall** · 23rd December 2005, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by rick_rine

,,,,,,,, walking down the street and outside the local hotel all in the same day .

Yeh, Santa's definetly don't get red noses from the cold.

But, you do see a lot of spunky elves working alongside him on occation, don't ya. Found myself on many occation, mentally unwrapping an elf, while me kids were ####ting themselves on santa's lap.....

, mean't to be getting sentimental watching the kids , instead I find myself being caught out by the wife eyeballing their tights in search for G-string impressions. :eek: ....just looking, No touching. I swear.

**oges** · 23rd December 2005, 11:26 PM

Originally Posted by Wongo

Exactly DavidG, you got it right mate. I mean human beings are so one dimensional and we just can’t think outside the square.

I found the above calculations incorrect. Here are so more facts,

1) it is a well known fact that 20% of kids are naughty so they get squat. So Santa’s workload should be 302 million kids instead of 378 million.
2) most toys these days are less than 2 pounds. A barbie is less then 2 pounds, DVDs, CDs, Xbox games are less then 2 pounds. And who they hell wants lego set anyway?
3) Finally lets not forget the contributions from thousands of Santa’s little helpers. And these days 80% of the delivery are outsourcing to India. So with a bit of luck he might not have to do anything at all.

haha too true too true

**MICKYG** · 24th December 2005, 07:13 AM

If you are at our gransons place in the morning, and you are quick you may catch a glimpse of Santa with a Cubby House which I completed yesterday and will post some pictures sometime today.

Regards Mike

**Iain** · 24th December 2005, 09:36 AM

I must be the real Santa because after the festivities my padding remains

Apricottripper, if you really want to see Santa's helpers, when in Melb go to Santa Fe Gold (Fe Gold means helpers I believe), never been but I;ve heard a lot about it, including $8 for a stubby of light.

**JDarvall** · 24th December 2005, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by Iain

Apricottripper, if you really want to see Santa's helpers, when in Melb go to Santa Fe Gold (Fe Gold means helpers I believe), never been but I;ve heard a lot about it, including $8 for a stubby of light.

Never been there !...yeh, right ! . Seems like you know a hell of a lot for someone whose never been their !

Unlike you, I'm really too straight to be in such establishments. Well, my wife is anyway.

....

Spose, at this time of year all them helpers are dressed in christmas garb sliding down turkey greased poles. Though, I don't really know,,,,,never been in a place like this,,,,, just what I've heard

(Did you say $8 !)

**echnidna** · 24th December 2005, 04:53 PM

Is there really a Santa ???

Don't take chances
put yer order in jest in case all the doubters are wrong.
Please bring me a Bushmill santa
Actually Santa, I'd much rather have a Lucas or a Peterson but I'm not greeedy Santa, the cheapest one will do.

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