Thread: School Bullies

It would certainly play with their mixed up heads.

Hi

Sorry if I seem to be rather focused on tackling the bully head on with violence.

However, leaving it up to others may not always work. So give the process a chance but make it just one bow in the arsenal.

For those who have been around a while may remember my wife had a massive mental breakdown at the hands of a bully. (and she was a hard cop when it came to a fight ). We used the touchy feely system put in place to deal with it and in the end it caused as much damage as the bully. Should have belted him in the beginning.

Sometimes we just gotta stand up for ourselves and our children. With a girl particularly I think you would want them to have the confidence to stand up to a male, even if it may hurt. Better that than living in fear of a bullying spouse later on.

Letting others sort it may also further the lack of confidence in a child. The change in my 11 yo after he took his bully down is amazing.

Bullies just need a bullying:mad:

ok every thing i said in a earlier post just went out the window i just put pj's on my boy and he's black and blue i asked what happened and he don't want to talk about it , old bag just told me that he has been kicked in the nuts and upper leggs by the look of the bruising it was reported to the head master and he put my boy in time out! ar..hole ,the offender got away with it( ok some hystory)this offender well it's a whole family (as there was 6 kids)turned up 1/2 way through last year kicked out of there last school (and town) with leopords spots in there hair so they was easy to reconize from day 1 the whole school was turned upside down just about every kid was a victim of a bashing or 2 this kept happening till the parents stormed the school and the head master ended up teaching the kids in his own office till the end of the year and he got a tranfer every thing has been reasonablly quiet ) till the last few weeks so monday i will confront the new (chicken sh.t) head master then if i get no joy i feel compelled to go and belt the crap out of the parents of these kids for raising such crap kids sorry for ranting on but i am usually very placid this has just made my blood boil:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Thats very bad Goat.

Good luck mate

oh it was a girl that kicked my boy thats why he don''t want to talk about it he's very embarressed poor little bugger and i'm fuming

thanks dazzler oh and old bag is a pet name just incase any one was wondring

Goat
you MUST MUST document the evidence. Even if it means waking your son get some photos NOW. Try and get a doctor's report as well.
Don't forget that by Sunday or Monday DoCS (or it's local equivalent) will assume that you've caused the bruising and you could be faced with proving you didn't -- yeah it stinks but that's how the system is contitioned to work.

On Monday confront the principal with the evidence and demand
1 to know what action he proposes so it doesn't happen again
2 when he proposes to pay your son's medical expenses. Don't take no for an answer. One thing all principal's fear is having to explain their expenditure to the higher ups.

ian

Possibly good to call your local MP and also the Minister. Offer to call John Laws and also Alan Jones if they stonewall you.

Studley

I have a 5yo daughter. I would like to hope this will not happen to her but it may well happen.

There are a number of great points raised through this thread and a number that may well prove counter productive.

Ganhdi suggested that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Violence can't solve violence. What is happening in Lebanon and Israel at the moment?

Self defence is absolutely valid should it be needed but revenge is such an awful human habit. It makes one worse than the original perpetrator.

Schools do have policies in place and from what I can see of the reply by the teacher the school was not aware of the problem and that it would be investigated through future observation of your daughter and her bully.

I also don't think there is one answer for bullying situations. So many of the 'apples have not fallen very far from the tree at all'. This is very clear.

Certainly letting a student bully know that what they are doing is not acceptable is fine but threatening them also 'making sure no one is watching, no witnesses' is in itself bordering on assault and is certainly bullying. Is it not just doing the same as the bully? Stand over? I am bigger than you and will do ???? if you do ???? to so and so.

As parents it makes our hearts ache. Our kids are our greatest resource they are the future of the world.

Lets do our best to teach them right. All of them not just our own. Those little Sh*ts who have a sh*t upbringing and are bullying, don't they deserve the support and proper guidance of adults that believe, as all here clearly do, that bullying is not on, that all have a right to be and feel safe? They have been dealt a sh*t card in life and need our help as much as our own kids do.

The older cousin is a really good step. Not as a protector but as a member of your daughters support network at school.

Being at and around the school PTA etc is also a great way of supporting kids and being a presence in their schooling.

IMHO!

Originally Posted by Shannon Nash

I have a 5yo daughter. I would like to hope this will not happen to her but it may well happen.

There are a number of great points raised through this thread and a number that may well prove counter productive.

Ganhdi suggested that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Violence can't solve violence. What is happening in Lebanon and Israel at the moment?

Self defence is absolutely valid should it be needed but revenge is such an awful human habit. It makes one worse than the original perpetrator.

Schools do have policies in place and from what I can see of the reply by the teacher the school was not aware of the problem and that it would be investigated through future observation of your daughter and her bully.

I also don't think there is one answer for bullying situations. So many of the 'apples have not fallen very far from the tree at all'. This is very clear.

Certainly letting a student bully know that what they are doing is not acceptable is fine but threatening them also 'making sure no one is watching, no witnesses' is in itself bordering on assault and is certainly bullying. Is it not just doing the same as the bully? Stand over? I am bigger than you and will do ???? if you do ???? to so and so.

As parents it makes our hearts ache. Our kids are our greatest resource they are the future of the world.

Lets do our best to teach them right. All of them not just our own. Those little Sh*ts who have a sh*t upbringing and are bullying, don't they deserve the support and proper guidance of adults that believe, as all here clearly do, that bullying is not on, that all have a right to be and feel safe? They have been dealt a sh*t card in life and need our help as much as our own kids do.

The older cousin is a really good step. Not as a protector but as a member of your daughters support network at school.

Being at and around the school PTA etc is also a great way of supporting kids and being a presence in their schooling.

IMHO!

Some good stuff there Shannon. But wait until your daughter refuses to go to school, cries not too, thinks up non existant illnesss, walks with her shoulders slumped ....

all because a little piece of garbage decides to take out thier lifes miseries on your child.

We are not talking about revenge at all. Just stopping the trauma dead in its tracks.

I will 'sacrifice" any piece of garbage that makes my childs life a misery. I will always give the school a chance, but if it doesnt work then thats it and then its up to the parent and the kid to finish it.

When I was OS for 8 months a little piece of garbage, a teachers son mind you, made my 5 yo life and ours a misery. School couldnt achieve anything, his father wasnt interested, and it didnt stop until the little piece of garbage was threatened.

Not nice, bad luck, my child comes first.

The schoolyard is not lebanon, but can be a battlefield all the same.

I dont think I would be a happy camper if I spent my time looking after my childs tormentor at my childs expense

sorry, just dont agree
cheers

dazzler

Shannon I agree with a lot of what you have to say, and cannot agree with other stuff. Violence does solve things, WWII is a good example, but that is for a different discussion.

First, you have to protect your child from the physical violence of the bully. Often that means making it too expensive for the bully to get away with what they are doing, either by public ridicule, involving the school, or a direct threat to take legal, and perhaps threaten illegal action.

I mentioned that I told the 4 boys who were tormenting my daughter that I would make them cry, well I did, I made them cry in front of their teacher and their fathers, but I did not lay one finger on them, nor did I intend to. A 40 year old man, does not strike a 10 year old boy.

When we are talking about the truly weird and warped members of our society, well then you are really in a mess, and you need to get the cops and the law involved, but when you are talking about a school yard bully.....

Not every school yard bully turns into Charles Manson, often they are just doing some crap, because they can. The guy I had problems with at school, that I eventually got back on the playing field, all straight up and fair, now, years later when we bump into each other, we laugh about stuff like that, and wonder how we made it though that time in our lives with out a permanent limp

Just to end this on a fun question, why do we pay our taxes (I'll assume you guys pay taxes down there) why?

Because, if we don't the government would kill us...........

Shannon, this is not a personal attack, I'm just choosing to disagree with some of the things you have said, as I'm sure you will not agree with stuff I've said.

Have a great day!

Originally Posted by Stu in Tokyo

by public ridicule

Qiet often its the best method. Bullies thrive on power and alot of them can take some pain. But all of them hate to be ridiculed. Its a bit like Kryptonite for Bullies and drains their power. The embaresment is often to much for them when they realise "everyone" is just laughing at them behind their backs. If you could keep the do-gooders at bay, schools should have a "bully" alert once a week at assembly, where the Principle anounces the "Bully" of the week in front of the entire school, and list their weeks "acheivements" How would the bully feel if that happend. Pretty low i guess.

Originally Posted by Lignum

Qiet often its the best method. Bullies thrive on power and alot of them can take some pain. But all of them hate to be ridiculed. Its a bit like Kryptonite for Bullies and drains their power. The embaresment is often to much for them when they realise "everyone" is just laughing at them behind their backs. If you could keep the do-gooders at bay, schools should have a "bully" alert once a week at assembly, where the Principle anounces the "Bully" of the week in front of the entire school, and list their weeks "acheivements" How would the bully feel if that happend. Pretty low i guess.

Would never happen, but I got to say, BRILLIANT!!

I second that bleedin great idea!
My Girl got 2 awards at school this week, 1 for effort insports, 1 for christain behaviour (catholics go figure still made us real proud she does) now imagine the parents whose kids come home with the "bully of the weak" award, gotta be a good feelin' that one, followed up with maybe a mention in the school or local papers school section.