Thread: Telemarketers

Bet my left nut it's not a real card number!!

Got another call today from an Indian voiced female saying she was from
the technical department of Microsoft. Just told her to get lost.

Next time I will tell them I don't have computer!!

Originally Posted by artme

Bet my left nut it's not a real card number!!

Got another call today from an Indian voiced female saying she was from
the technical department of Microsoft. Just told her to get lost.

Next time I will tell them I don't have computer!!

Tell them it's an Apple!

Ah the computer has to have its windows checked, so I tell them I am walking to the window. What's that my computer window hang on I have to walk back to it. What it's my windows hang on I have to walk back to the window. What you are trying to verify my windows, my windows have a virus. No my windows don't have a virus the get stuck sometimes but that is a job for a sunny day. Windows on my computer no sonny are you daft my computer doesn't have windows my house has windows.
choice of who gets tired of this one first, sometimes it can "walk" back and forth between my windows and computer for ages

My favourite trick for all phone calls, suggested by a friend. Tell the person you are really interested, but need to do something immediately, hang on while I turn the "KETTLE" off. Put the phone down and get on with your business. This really stuffs up their system. I hate any form of unsolicited calls. I will do any thing to screw them up. LOL. Paul.

If I have time I like to play along, while also playing hard of hearing and getting them to repeat stuff as much as I can.
Then right when I sense they are close to hanging up I inform them I am ex tech support myself, not stupid enough to fall for this but hope to have wasted anough of their time to lower their call rate for the night.

If I don't have time I just tell them I have linux...

I spent rather a long time on the phone one night with one of the "Microsoft support" folks, because I had nothing to do and wanted to see where it would lead. I found the "error" he referred to on google with a simple search and while I was on the phone I found references to scammers using this "error", which is of course not an error at all. Interesting how they try to mislead folks with information that is freely available - but they are relying on inexperienced folks to just believe them. When I asked the fellow on the phone how he feels about scamming people for a living and whether it makes him feel guilty he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. Lower than pond scum. Now when I get these calls I just shout abuse into the phone in the hope that they will stop calling...

I upset one of the 'Microsoft' technicians a few weeks ago so much that he kept calling back for the next 15-20 minutes trying to tell me off. He was swearing and carrying on like an idiot and I kept hanging up on him which apparently only further infuriated him. In the end I just pulled the cord for an hour or so.

If I'm feeling playful I was lead them along a little, other times I just tell them to bugger off

Originally Posted by Handyjack

Tell them it's an Apple!

Tell 'em its running MS DOS 6.22. If they ring me it is goiing to be fun times for me depending on how much time I have to waste. I can see the conversation now, What is Windows 3.11, I am not familiar with this windows.

Looks like the majority of us do the same thing. I haven't had one of those "Microsoft Support" callers for ages, when I used to get 2 or 3 a week, depending on how much time I had or if I was bored, I would always stall them for ages or if too busy shout into the phone and tell them what a low life scum bucket that they were (not in such nice terms either) before I'd hang up. But it was always fun to see how many new ways I could come up and stall them before they hung up. Seemed to get the same people ringing up usually after a week or two break, I would have thought that they would have removed my number or put a note next to my number in their database that I was a waste of time.

Cheers

Ed.

We seem to be inundated with home improvement calls. I've tried everything to get rid of them. Finally I've found out how to stop the calls.

I tell the caller that I would love to do whatever home improvement that they have in mind except that he landlord won't permit us to do the work. This usually results in the pregnant pause and the really rude ones just hang up. The ones who's mother brought them up properly usually say something like, "Have a nice day."

Another trick is to answer the phone in Spanish. (Bueno) and then say si to everything.

Originally Posted by rrich

Another trick is to answer the phone in Spanish. (Bueno) and then say si to everything.

I've been known to switch over to Dutch and refuse to talk in English to them, they will give up.

Peter.

Haven't had a call for some time, but I used to tell them that I was a Microsoft Certified System Engineer (true) now called Microsoft Certified Solutions Expert (MCSE).
The dead give-a-way was when they asked "what is that?".
I used to also tell then that my PC runs LINUX, which is also true, but as a dual boot, Linux/Windows.

My response to any unsolicited call is to ask for their card number.

They reply with " what is this card number being?"

I respond that I take either visa or mastercard.

They ask why I want their card number and I reply that there is a $25 fee for calling this number.

If they ask what the fee is for I respond that if they do not know then they have called a wrong number and should hang up.

After that no matter what they say I reply "Can I have your card number please?"

The call does not usually last long and they NEVER call back.

Try it, its fun

Cheers

Doug

I'm sure this has been posted before but it's so good I had to post it again.

YTMND - The Original How To Prank a Telemarketer