17th Feb 2019, 05:33 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Mudgeeraba, Gold Coast
And we will VOTE this year ......... read on
With what`s going on in politics Australia wide at the moment [regardless of your political persuasion] the following is very appropriate.
An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his mob in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .....
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.
He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.
As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"
The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."
"You're a politician & you work in Canberra." says the old timer.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a mob of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.
17th Feb 2019, 08:31 PM #2GOLD MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jun 2005
I scrubbed my original comment doubting all politicians, the above says it all.
1st May 2019, 09:09 PM #3New Member
- Join Date
- May 2018
- Bordertown, South Australia
Being a country person, I laughed and laughed. Bloody beautiful. Well said. You have summed politicians up perfectly.
9th May 2019, 07:10 PM #4Furniture maker and machine doctor
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
I get the point, but the inaccuracies in the tech jargon bit...
9th May 2019, 08:59 PM #5
By FenceFurniture in forum HAND TOOLS - UNPOWEREDReplies: 0Last Post: 15th Mar 2012, 08:07 PM
By mic-d in forum WOODWORK - GENERALReplies: 36Last Post: 17th Jun 2010, 05:32 PM
By waveink in forum THE WORK BENCHReplies: 7Last Post: 28th Jun 2009, 12:24 PM
By HappyHammer in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH WOODWORKReplies: 139Last Post: 8th Nov 2007, 08:15 AM