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  1. #91
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Brisbane
    Age
    52
    Posts
    417

    Default the missing link

    SilentC has reminded me of a bouncer incident.

    Whilst entering a seedy establishment the bounce was giving the guy in front a hard time. You know the drill, he is going to let you in but wants to feel important. "Tuck your shirt in, not sure those shoes are appropriate etc".
    Anyway the guy in front finally gets in and the bouncer starts to open his mouth to give me a hard time, when I said "hey mate you dropped a chromosome". While the muscle bound chap looked around on the ground for his missing chromosome I just walked in.

    Don't know if he ever found it..........
    Specializing in O positive timber stains

  2. # ADS
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    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Advertising world
    Age
    2010
    Posts
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  3. #92
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    muswellbrook
    Posts
    22

    Default

    'poofteenth'
    when you bump the handle to take just a 'mickhair' off the job
    'chasing moonbeams'
    when you take off a poofteeth and it doesn't do anything and you say to yourself there is no real point in chasing .01mm for a bearing fit.
    'spot on bevan'
    he is the generic customer or boss who you hand the job, knowing full well that it will work even tho it may be a 'poofteenth' out of tolerance and really can't measure to save his life.

  4. #93
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Caversham WA
    Posts
    193

    Default

    "Like a bought one."

    At my old workplace we had a useless apprentice who made it to year five of a four year apprenticeship, hence i called him the fifth year apprentice.

  5. #94
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    "go a row"

    I've never heard of this before, but my friend said it this morning and reckons it means "in the s&%#". as in "go a row of s&%$ houses." As in "in deep trouble"
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  6. #95
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    77
    Posts
    9,550

    Default

    "Rough enough's good enough" when you've shaved the last poofteenth off.
    Visit my website
    Website
    Facebook

  7. #96
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    nth coast nsw
    Posts
    1,557

    Default

    A German visitor recently asked me to explain "Bobs yer uncle"

    what if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?

  8. #97
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Peakhurst
    Age
    67
    Posts
    1,173

    Default

    One in my signature....


    and for the really FUGLY ... A face like a smacked a&se

  9. #98
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Mandurah WA
    Age
    62
    Posts
    1,566

    Default

    Hey There,

    I have a few regular ones, that the boys at work sort of get a giggle out of,

    'Crowin' like a boy Chook '
    Robert's your mothers brother (Bobs your Uncle)
    Busy as a one armed Fiddler with a dose of crabs
    Trying to make Strawberry Jam out of horse Sh*t
    You can't polish a t##d
    Portion of urine


    HazzaB
    It's Hard to Kick Goals, When the Ba^$%##ds Keep moving the Goal Posts.


    Check out my Website www.harrybutlerdesigns.com.au

  10. #99
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    3,191

    Default

    Always liked, "So full of it even his eyes are brown"

  11. #100
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Queensland
    Age
    64
    Posts
    35

    Default

    I don't use it a lot but when I do it's the best way to describe the situation

    "a fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place"

    pretty sure it's a WC Fields quote

  12. #101
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    3,612

    Default

    All over it like a fat kid on a donut
    Fits like mum and dad
    Aren't there any mirrors in your house? (to people with bad hairdo's or bad dress sense)
    You don't have to be dead to be stiff.
    Stiffer than a honeymooners richard.
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  13. #102
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Dundowran Beach
    Age
    76
    Posts
    19,922

    Post

    Dry as a limeburner's boot

    Dry as a horse's fart

    When in a state of misery I like a quote from "the Magic Pudding":

    It's worse than warts, it's worse than corns to bare. It's worse than having several quarts of treacle in your hair.


    When someone really gets up my nostril:: How would you like the ribosomes stripped from your endoplasmic reticulum?!

  14. #103
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by artme View Post
    When in a state of misery I like a quote from "the Magic Pudding":

    It's worse than warts, it's worse than corns to bare. It's worse than having several quarts of treacle in your hair.


    When someone really gets up my nostril:: How would you like the ribosomes stripped from your endoplasmic reticulum?!
    Will have to remember both of them. Makes you sound very scholarly!
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  15. #104
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Dundowran Beach
    Age
    76
    Posts
    19,922

    Post

    For the useless types and things we meet: It's/he's about as useful as a hernia.

  16. #105
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Central Coast NSW Australia
    Posts
    1,136

    Default

    "show me your friends and I'll show you your future"

    An old Irish immigrant that lived up the road from me said that to me when I was young bloke. Still makes sense
    Learning to make big bits of wood smaller......

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