Thread: Great Chimp-tation; Special "Code of Practice" edition

Originally Posted by Zed

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ? Too short

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ? Yeap, its yours

How many seats should be provided in the shed ? One

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ? No

How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ? As many as you can find.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ? You can't have too many.

Define a "chap like" drink. Anything that is not a bloke like drink that a bloke might like to try or have to drink 'cos he is crook.

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb. Hold the dust in place, discourage sheilas, decoration to give it the 'lived in' look.

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ? Nope

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ? They join that shed's collection.

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ? Not actually mentioned in the code but it is your shed so, yes.

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ? Yes.

It would be unethical of me to participate in this quiz as a contestant, for obvious reasons. However, I am prepared to offer my services as a member of the judging panel in any cases of dispute, interpretation or arbitration.

Col the Arbitrary.

100% right for Cliff I reckon.

You forgot:

Is it permissible to have curtains on the windows?

"Is it possible to have too much rice?"

If God wants us to be vegetarians then why did he create animals and fire?

Without cheating, I'm a bit anarchic anyway:

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ?
About 100 metres, generally to avoid paying a sparky to put in power points in the shed

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ?
Never, even apes must have some standards

How many seats should be provided in the shed ?
One for owner, excess only encourages sheilas

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ?
Nope, some fat bastard's already got it.
How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ?
Optional, particularly if you don't have a pool.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ?
Infinite, but seldom sufficient

Define a "chap like" drink.
Single malt Scotch, never with ice.

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb.
To stop bleeding when you cut yourself, again
To show if the DC's working
To get the mossies

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ?
Yep, just snap the neck off the red

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ?
They get filled with a beer, but never VB (or KB)

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ?
Target for what, lets not go there

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ?
Nope, just random happenstance, give them to someone who would appreciate them

Originally Posted by Zed

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ? 30 m, hang on a nail

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ? only if its yours

How many seats should be provided in the shed ? one

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ? no

How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ? one for each machine at least.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ? wot cliff said

Define a "chap like" drink. wot cliff said

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb. wot cliff said

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ? wot cliff said

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ? wot cliff said

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ? wot cliff said

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ? technically no unless stated collection is "pre WW1 items".

Originally Posted by Grunt

You forgot:

Is it permissible to have curtains on the windows?

Only if they're actually cheap blue tarps.

What about the ones my 8-legged boarders knitted so patiently in the windows? I'm sure the code says they're permissible too...

Originally Posted by Bodgy

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ?
Nope, just random happenstance, give them to someone who would appreciate them

I have to disagree here. This is the start of a small collection of future collection starters... Sheesh! Next you'll be telling me the sawdust on my floor isn't a timber collection! In my shed I decide what's a collection or not.