Thread: FESTOOL DOMINO Experience - by those who have used one.

Is it an unhealthy obsession to sleep with the Domino on your bed side table:confused:3 Days Ago 01:03 PM
No this practise is endorsed by Herr Doktor Felix Istnotwierd of the Institute of Psychiatric Assistance for the Bewildered in Vienna. Writing in the May 2006 edition of " Tools for Nightime Antics-A beginners guide" he states,

" The surprise expressed by those who are concerned by men (und women naturlich) who keep expensive tools by their bedside is brought on by a hidden and very worrying illness known as Deprivadia Festoolus. This illness comes about when a new tool is purchased by someone which then triggers a high level of jealousy in the mind of usually right minded members of a closed society of Antipodean converters of expensive wood into sawdust. Phrases such as 'you lucky Bastard' und 'hope you slip over the power cord' as well as mockery at the need to keep their tool at their bedside is indicative of the onslaught of DPV (Deep Vein Pissedoffisness). The only known cure is to immediately phone your local practicioner (Dr Anthony or NT900 as he is know to us in the medical profession) and prescribe yourself a Domino. Gently place her by your bedside and you too will experience the thrill of having such a beautiful and expensive lady who wants for nothing more than the odd spray of Eau De 3in1 and a few wooden biscuits."

So there you have it. Dr Felix is no fool and any suggestion that he works for a well known manufacturer of power tools from the fair city of Wendlingen are totally untrue

Gott be mit you all

Regards from Wales ( neither Dark, nor Sunny or even a tad wet. Just green and lovely boyo.)

Pat

Simou! Line the Dominos up in three ranks. Shortest on the left. Tallest on the right.

Methinks that Simou brought you some meths instead of Bushmills by mistake...

Steve

Thank you for that. I have just had Simou on CO's Orders and he admits that instead of a bottle of Bushmills he brought a tin of Brasso. This disturbs me as it was well hidden in a brown paper bag and only used for special occassions such as when we totally run out of alternative beverages. I have put him on a fizzer and were you to suddenly drop into this beautiful part of the Principality you would see the unedifying sight of a 90lb Rotweiller, dressed in full combats, tin hat and a rifle over his head, doing 40 circuits of the parade ground (or my garden; concrete painted green with white stones neatly painted and in line). Oh and he lost a stripe too.

Yours sincerely

Pat.

Simou! Head up, neck to the back of your collar you idle Rotty you!

Only trouble is little Domi is on the left bedside cabinet under the new little nightlite i bought for her. But last night i woke and had a severe panic attack as the table was empty. But unbeknown to me at the time i was sleeping on my right hand side. The relief was somewhat overwhelming when i realised. Maybe i need to purchase a SYMMETRIC SYM 70 for the right side cabinet just for the peace of mind of getting a good nights sleep.

Lignum

Constable Letsbeavenue of the N Wales Heddlu (Police) has informed me that a vicious gang of Domino Rustlers are operating in the Valley. To counter this I have engaged my trusty dog Simou to guard Dominitrix and Rizla ( The Symetric, so named as you cannot get a fag paper between the mitres it cuts).
He will guard them with his life unless the Rustlers have the odd sandwich or steak pie secreted on their person.


http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...frondeg006.jpg

Kind regards

From a quite dark Wales

Pat

Originally Posted by patr

From a quite dark Wales

'Twas ever thus.

Rocker (Who has many rain-sodden memories of the Berwyns)

Pat.

Pat what a cracker of a pic http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...frondeg006.jpg Simou is one hell of a nice looking Rotti

Dear Mr Lignum

You have made me blush you sweet talker!

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...oalbum_033.jpg

This shows me in a better light though my #### is still cold from sitting on the concrete guarding those bloody Festools. Oh for a rabbit to chase or a Rustler with a slice of Pizza. Sorry got to go, he who thinks he is in charge has just shouted for a GandT.

Kind regards

Simou

Pat, I wish to report the dissapearance of a most cherished fowl, the residence of said fowl stated to be in the vicinity of your abode. What you may ask does this have to do with me? Forgive me, I do not relish being the bearer of ill tidings, however may I point to the evidence most clearly viewed in the top right of the recently submitted pic -
http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...oalbum_033.jpg

Simou, explain yourself!!!

Dear Mr Carpenter

Thanks a bunch! Now I am truly in the poo. I am on COs Orders this afternoon because of your eagle eye but I do have mitigating circumstances and hope that my punishment will be fair. I will plead guilty. The statement of the accused:

"I was lying in the porch on my favorite carpet when Speckled Jim, my Dad's favourite pigeon, was showing off his aerobatic skills with some precision swooping whilst coooing the Dambusters theme tune. This really irritated me as I am of German origin and as he went through his last loop the loop routine I kebabed the bastard with my lower left molar. Thats the last time you ruin my afternoon nap you aerial #### I thought. And then I ate him. Trouble is just as the Old Man was taking this photo I broke wind and a feather shot out like a Scotsman closing his wallet. And that is why I am before you O Merciful One."

Pray for me you Woodies

Yours
Simou

Originally Posted by patr

when Speckled Jim, my Dad's favourite pigeon

Love Black Adder and the new Dr House with Hugh Laurie. Don't know if you're getting it in Wales and if it's good in English but comes on after MONK over here and I like it...

Damien.

PS.
The Aussi George Mellion (Crocodile Dundee) is to be seen as a relatively young man in 'The Dam Busters'.

Originally Posted by damienhazo

The Aussi George Mellion (Crocodile Dundee) is to be seen as a relatively young man in 'The Dam Busters'.

Mell Gibsson was going to do a remake of the Dam Busters, but the PC mob demanded he change the name of the dog "Nigger' And as a srtict stickler for historical accuracy he said stick it and shelved the project. What a bummer


[edit- He should have used Simou]

Dahlings, Dahlings

Mel did give me a ring re playing Wing Commander Guy Gibson VC RAF trusty dog Nigger but 3 things got in the way:

1. Pat who is a soldier put the kibosh on me being associated with the RAF. Something along the lines of ,'the Army has traditions, the RAF have habits.'

2. Nigger gets run over outside the gate of RAF Scampton and gets buried at midnight by a Flight Sergeant. F... me an Officers dog being laid to rest by an NCO. Not for all the Steak Pies in the world mate. Even Rotti's have standards.:eek:

3. Pat has taken me back to the town of Rottweil on one of his many trips to the Fatherland and there is just a niggling doubt in my mind that should we go again and word gets out that the Rotty in sunglasses played the code word in the remake of the breach of the Mohne, Eder and Sorpe Dams then I think that I could end up in that zenith of German culinary achievement, the Bratwurst. Or even worse, he who thinks he is in charge would not get a discount at his favorite Festool dealer, Herr Achtung Spitfeuer AG.

Nope it back to lounging around waiting for the odd morsel to drop or Speckled Jim's replacement, Baldrick, to fly into the deep fat fryer which I have cunningly hidden under a big tray of seed.

Regards
Simou

Glad you got Blackadder down there. General Melchett is Pat's Great Aunt.