Thread: wooden quilts!!!!

Now that's another truly amazing collection, although at $30-40,000 per piece I don't think he's getting rich quickly either!

I'll have a chat to my beloved, and see if she's interested in doing a coffee table out of fabric.....

Cheers,

P

So I showed her the "quilts" and then the prices... she promptly pharted burped and then fell over of the chair and fainted... so I woke her up and suddenly shes all smiles "I TOLD YOU MY QUILTINGS WORTH GOOD MONEY!! WHAHOOOOOOOOO WERE RICH!!!" :eek: yep she had lost the plot totally poor wee thing... so I sat her down and took her back to the site clicked on a couple of pics and pointed her in the direction of the word "timber"... "Theyre made of wood?" I patted her gently and said quietly "Yes dear timber and paints" silence for a while as she looked around the site... the "HOLEY SHYTE SHANE!!!" I raced back "yes darls?" I was all concern and worry... as you do when her highness starts screaming... suddenly shes up and were doin a jig around the kitchen "WERE STILL RICH!!" shes singing laughin cryin all at once

Finally I slow her down and ask her "what the flamin hell you on about luv the damned things arent made of material girl theyre made of timber"... silence and THAT look... "NO!! You cant be bloody serious woman!!" then shes all cuddles and canoodling purring "of course I am my wonderful gloriously talented woodworkin hubby you can do that easy as no worries" "NO I BLOODY CANT" "For me?" "NO!!! you have to be bloody joking Jo Im a long way from there" silence... cold... hard... silence "mmm darls you okay?" silence "honey?"

She glared tears started flowing from those precious blue eyes and as she tore of to the bedroom screamed "you dont love me!!!" sigh

Anyway as I adjust to spending the rest of my life out in the dog house under the baleful glare of this wee sobbingly disappointed missus of mine... Please explain how I can get out and back into her good books again!!

oooh and hell I couldnt do that in a fit!!!

Ok... here's an idea to get you into the good books again.
Go through all the posts you've left here, anything really that you have written to anyone..... then send it to some publishing company or newspaper.... you really have a knack for writing!
I can just see people spitting their morning coffee laughing.... the way I almost lost mine over the keyboard.
You'd get paid for what you're already good at and you'd have a lot of people start their day laughing.... how much better could things get?

I've lived in the US 25 years and I tell you.... over there they'd get the biggest kick out of your stories! lol

Keep them coming
Juvy

Now thats a theory Ive played with many times over the last 6 or so years ... but see most of them blokes have no idea what Im sayin most of the time!! My usual banter tends to confuse the stuffin outta them

But its not out of the realm of possibilities Im playin with... just gotta sort meself out enough grab enough time from somewhere and put it all together cross me eyes arms fingers toes legs knees gronicles and whatever the hell else I can find that I can con break twist or bite into crossing and send them to a publisher... wait for the knock back letter and then send it to another wait again... this could prove increadibly painfull speciall the crossed gronicles!! :eek: may be a better idea to self publish eh?

got a better idea...... let your wife do it

Now the excuse that folks can't understand what you're saying is a lousy one. I'm only Australian since 2 years.... born and bred in Germany , married a GI and lived in TX for ....... now that would give away my age now wouldn't it? lol Anyway... if I can understand your writing anyone can...... should? It's just way too enjoyable to keep to yourself. or just the few of us here.
So GO for it... what do you have to loose?

Juvy

What a waste of good wood! Hiding it under all that water-colour and paint and such. [shakes head]

Someone oughtta point 'em at the scoll-sawing forum.

My sanity?... ooh right!! Lost that many years back!! Actually cant remember ever having one... how do you know? whos got their sanity mmm??

I do intend to... soon as I can a) sort that sanity issue out b) get myself together c) get the time to do it d) sort that sanity issue out e) get some time to myself to do it f) stop making excuse lists like this g) sort that sanity issue out h) find an editor who wont charge me left knut to do what I should be capable of by have no understanding off i) nah forget it!!

Sanity issue and time issue are the two worst things just now... well always actually!!

Excuses!!!!! What's sanity anyway? Haven't you noticed that most woodies seem to be hmmm..... well .... look and act the part is as polite as I can put it lol ... must be all the sawdust we're breathing? :eek:


Anyway....start small.... take just one of your fun stories and send it to one of the woodworking magazines.... see what happens....

think of the tools you could buy should they actually send you a check... or how famous you'd be if you'd be published....

Yes sanity is rather over rated ... well so I keep telling her highness who reckons Im madder than a cut snake on steroids... but then!! She did marry me :eek: AND!!! Heck shes remained married to me for 25 years and 8 kids... sooooo whos missing their sanity eh!!

You mean write something specific for a specific audience? :eek: gawd strewth woman!!! mmmm well... mmmm... will give it much thought while Im away (leave on Friday arvo now no internet out in the little great sandy desert Im afraid ) BUT THEN AGAIN!!! bein way out there gives me a lot of time to cogitate eh?

Think of all the words runnin rampant through my mushy stuff without an outlet!!! :eek: holeyhanna!! Talk about lack of sanity underground drivin a squashed truck on me own no light no fresh air lotsa noise and hotter than hell... ooh and no wood down there either!... but as a non drinker I will get a fair bit of free time to wander around take some snapperooinees on the digimal and do some serious writing who knows I may come back with a best seller ah well worth a go I reckon

Looking forward to the start and end of shift... sunrise and sunset out there should be bloody awesome!!