Thread: Read the Instructions (from old email)

The following is from an email exchange now over 10 years ago. I have copied it from my blog (articles from the makers) on our new website and thought it might be something that could be of interest and info for woodturners here.

Cheers - Neil

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Please read the Information Sheet when you purchase a product from us.
All Info Sheets can be found HERE

The below is an example as to why you should read the Information sheet. It is an email exchange from 10 years ago. The content has been heavily censored for language, abuse, threats, etc.

A gentleman (I use the term very loosely) in a foreign (almost English speaking youall, country), complaining that our Shellawax was the worst product ever put on the market. Lots of heavily abusive language and a description of the product, along the lines of… “Absolutely useless garbage that didn’t work, wouldn’t dry and was the most horrible finish he had ever come across in his 40+ years of finishing.” (Heavily censored)

He was demanding a full refund of the purchase price and threatening to sue because the product had ruined his work.

I emailed back asking… what had he done that it didn’t work and if he read the instructions.

His response (censored/cleaned up) “I applied 4 coats by brush over a period of 2 days and it has now sat for 3 days and still not dry, it’s soft and tacky. As for instructions. I’ve been finishing furniture and antiques for over 40 years and don’t need anyone telling me how to do my job.”

My response to him. “You do realise that Shellawax is a friction polish don’t you? It is for use on the lathe and not for furniture or other flat work, apart from the odd small item.”

His reply (censored/cleaned up) “No one told me that. I saw a write-up in a woodwork magazine comparing it with other finishes and it came out to be the best and easiest to use. I tried it and it is absolute garbage as I already said.”

My response. “Did you read the label on the bottle that says:
‘SHELLAWAX WOODTURNERS FRICTION POLISH‘ or the information sheet that was supplied with the Shellawax or on our website.”

His reply again (censored/cleaned up)…. “Are you stupid as wall as a garbage manufacturer of rubbish polish. I have already said I’m a veteran polisher and don’t need instructions.”

My next response. “You need to read the instruction (which I have attached to this email) and use it as it is intended to be used. It is not for furniture and it should not be applied coat on coat with a brush. It is a friction polish that when applied with a rag and used correctly on the lathe will give you a deep rich full gloss finish in a matter of seconds.”

His final response: “I don’t even own a F’n lathe so why the F would I buy a F’n woodturners friction polish? It’s F’n garbage and so are you. I demand you refund my money and can promise that you will be hearing from my attorney regarding damages. Have a blessed day.”

My final reply. If you would like a refund please send the bottle and remaining contents back to me here in Australia at your expense. (Return address is attached ) Do not send it to the US distributor you purchased from as they have been told not to give you a refund. Send it along with an apology for the foul mouth, slanderous comments about me and the product, along with a letter signed by you and notarised by your Attorney saying you are too dumb to use this product and requesting a refund for the remaining amount of Shellawax left in the bottle.

Please be aware that it will have to be sent as Dangerous Goods and could cost up to $60 t0 send. If not sent as DG and discovered the fine could be a few thousand dollars

I sincerely wish you a blessed day also.

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I have had other similar emails and phone calls from users with problems over the years. Most have been quite civilised, rational contacts and easily resolved. Most had never read the Information Sheets but had seen a demo or video and purchased because of what they saw.

Anyway…. the bottom line(s) to all this is...

If you are a new or first time user of our products or for that matter anyone else’s product.

PLEASE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
and if you have a problem contact us for help.
Never met a problem that couldn’t be easily fixed with the
correct info and a rational person at the other end of the problem.