Thread: You know you've been bitten by the turning bug when ...

When you define your "good clothes" as the ones without wood shavings in the pockets.

When you look around the house and realise you are running out of shelf space.

You seriously consider carrying a chainsaw in your car at all times (or bemoan the fact that you don't have a chainsaw).

And next...

- when your weekly "to do" list includes cleaning woodpulp from the washing machine.

- when all of your cabinetry work in the last twelve months has been building display cases.

- when cleaning the woodchips & debris out of your car boot gives you an extra few miles per gallon.

- when you see a fine piece of handcrafted furniiture and wonder how many bowls or goblets you'd get out of it.

- when there are round wax marks instead of whorls in the "fingerprint" section of your police file.

When you see a large burl on a tree and you visibly start to salivate

When you start chasing the local tree surgeon's truck to see if they would mind you rooting through the trailer

When you will stop traffic on a busy highway to get a couple of pieces of that unknown wood you just spotted that is cut up and just lying there

When you wish you too lived in a cyclone state each time you see news footage of all the blown down trees

You look at any and all pieces of "unspoken for" wood regardless of size with almost porographic desire.

You permanently have the smell of shelawax about you.

You stand at the barby tongs in hand.... in a turning stance.

You wear your turning smock soo much people think you are into startreck.

Your hair brush has more timber waste in it than lost hair.

Your wife cuts drive dog crosses in the ends of sweet corn to encourage you to eat vegitables.

Your wife starts wearing underwear made of turned beads just to keep you interested. oooooh thats cuban mahogany.

- when SWMBO grumpily tells you to "buy your own microwave."

- when SWMBO can't do the dishes 'cos your 20gallon drum of LDD needed topping up.

- when you build a rotisserie for the BBQ and add a tool-rest to "make it look right."

- when you have more drill bits next to the lathe than the drill-press.

- when you buy top-quality sanding belts... just to cut 'em up into small squares.

- when you buy a DC and the lathe is connected before you start to run any ducts.

- when you remove the jack & wheelbrace from the car boot to make room for the chainsaw and 2-stroke.

- when the reason you have a police file is from noticing burls, "homeless" firewood on the roadside, etc, etc.

_ when yeou're in the doghouse 'cos SWMBO understood what you meant by "I'd like to see her cuban mahogany."

You have 3 chainsaws, one electric(shhhh), one has 4 spare chains & the big one has 2 bars, one for cross cutting & one for ripping, & you want to buy a slab mill.

You have 4 sheds & you still need to buy a shipping container to store MORE timber.

A tree falls on your shed roof & you cut it up & turn it into waxed blanks before you fix the roof. :eek:

You have 3 lathes, 57 chisels, 9 chucks, 6 face plates, 2 grinders, 3 angle grinders, 2 bandsaws, 6 airtool attachments, (4 still in the box), a dremel with the worx, all the weird attachments with hinges & extensions & a partridge in a pear tree.

I think Cliff wins

Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

You have 3 lathes, 57 chisels, 9 chucks, 6 face plates, 2 grinders, 3 angle grinders, 6 airtool attachments, (4 still in the box), a dremel with the worx, all the weird attachments with hinges & extensions & a partridge in a pear tree.

Damn it! Seeing your post, I just had to go out and count... and it's cold out there! :eek:

4 1/2 lathes, 51 chisels (not inc. ones currently under construction) 5 chucks, 6 faceplates, 4 grinders, 1 a/grinder, 4 a/tool attachments, dremel with all bar the flexishaft plenty of weird attachments. And a post-WW2 military dentist's drill with some really weird attachments! Don't have a partridge in a pear tree... will have to make a nesting box for it as the pear tree's currently soaking in LDD.

All in all, you win. [Phew!] Now I can honestly say: "you think I'm bad? You oughtta check this bloke out. "

G'day,

• or, SWMBO always yells you not to wear your good clothes when you go down to the shed, but soon enough those good clothers (casual wear) becomes shed clothes because you've spilt paint on them or other.

• you eye off every skip bin or house being demolished because you might be able to rescue some timber

• you haven't washed your pride and joy XR6 in months because it only gets dusty from being in the shed and you love making dust and shavings

• you walk into the shed and daydream about what's in the shed or dream as you wait to fill x space with that lathe or bit of machinery sometime soon.

Lol, another bit of machinery and the passion soon expands

Yeah well Skew... poetic Justice 'n all, its not a pear tree, its a trunk of a mulberry tree & they aren't partridges & theres 9 of them.... bush turkeys that is.
Next little lie, they are NOT in the shed on the mulberry trunk either, they are all sitting on the trunk of what looks like (hoping) a Qld Maple tree that is over at about 30° to the ground.

PS. I don't have that flexi shaft for the Dremel either, (next show) but I do have a pornography tool with 5 different tips.

PPS. Skew, count your sheds....

* you check the toothpicks in restaurants to see if they have actually been turned.

* each time you approach your spouse, she says "Look what you've made - that's lovely dear", without taking her attention away from the TV.

- you've memorised the dates of the next Working with Wood show in your state

You organise interstate work trips around the woodworking shows in other states, which you have memorised.

GC

Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

Next little lie, they are NOT in the shed on the mulberry trunk either, they are all sitting on the trunk of what looks like (hoping) a Qld Maple tree that is over at about 30° to the ground.

30°? Unsafe! And I bet you really need the room for that shipping container...

PPS. Skew, count your sheds....

Only 2 sheds. You win! Well... 1 shed and half of a 4-car garage; only half 'cos I gotta have somewhere to stand while I'm working. (Also why I'm a Triton afficiando.)

Oh, yeah there's under the house which is old colonial farmstead, 5' stumps at the back with verandah all 'round. (Suburbia just sprung up around us. ) I gotta admit it's chokkers under there... I've started using under the back deck, I really should line it better. But I'm only taking up one side of the verandah! Honest!

The saddest thing is, damned little of it's ready to use! [sigh]

Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!

.

I think the cat got his tongue.