EEE-ULTRA SHINE - Yorkshire Grit

**ubeaut** · 20th August 2020, 04:16 AM

Going to have a bit of a rant here. Apologies to anyone who's offended.

I heard today from a distributor of our EEE that they have had a number of people asking for Yourkshire Grit and saying how U-Beaut was flattering Y/Grit by copying their product.

Sorry to burst the bubble of anyone who thinks we are copying Y/Grit. but we are not!

The flattery of having a product copied is ours. Not that I'm at all flattered. None of our original products are copies of anyone else's products. All are original and designed by me right here in Australia. Including EEE-Ultra Shine, our Shellawax range including Shellawax Cream and Glow and Aussie Oil all of which are based on our exclusive Hard Shellac. Sanding Sealer, Waxstiks and Polish Reviver are also my formulations.

Y/Grit has only been on the market for a few years and to my knowledge appeared shortly after our EU distributor started selling EEE into England a few years ago. Not the first thing of ours to be copied either. There have been a few other inferior copies our products made in UK and US most never made it past the first trials. Some claim to be the some or better but most are inferior and failed within a few years.

Also been number of copies of our Original Rotary Sander, designed by the late Kevin Davidson for our great Aussie turner Vic Wood, then improved on and made by me for the past 12+ years. The sander was copied after the first ones went UK many years ago and also by a Mexican manufacturer for US market back in the 90's (they didn't last... literally. They fell apart.) Didn't help our sales into USA though.

EEE has been made by U-Beaut for just over 25 years, from my own formula, as opposed to Yorkshire Grit which is the new kid on the block.

For those who are looking for Y/Grit here in Australia.
How about supporting the original home grown product and stop watching YouTube videos of overseas products which are usually inferior and people with absolutely no idea how to read instructions demonstrating/using EEE.

You can buy it in Australia from 1 seller for $35
or from the UK £10.95 (A$19.95) + postage, packing etc So around A$29 to $33+
or from Canada C$32.99 (A$45.66) + postage etc if they will post it Around A$55 to $59
or from USA US$25 (A$34.50) + postage if they'll post it so around $44 to $47+

Or instead of buying an imported copy why not buy....
THE ORIGINAL home grown product EEE-Ultra Shine for S27.72 GST incl..
Made in our own back yard, AUSTRALIA!

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying Yorkshire Grit is inferior as I have never tried it.

However I know what ingredients are use and can say I used almost the exact same ingredients for the first trial batches around 27 yrs ago and wasn't as happy with the results as I am with our almost completely different formulation and ingredients which we've had for over 25 years now.

Y/Grit claim: "In comparison tests, we believe the finish is at least equivalent to 1000 grit."

U-Beaut claim: "EEE will break down and cut up to the equivalent of 20,000 grit." More if you really keen enough to continue on, but who can tell the difference on a piece of wood. EEE was designed to be used under our friction polishes Shellawax, Shellawax Cream, Shellawax Glow and Aussie Oil But I wouldn't use them over Y/Grit because of the oil content.

EEE also works brilliantly under Traditional Wax and Woodturners Waxtik. It can also be used as a cut 'n' polish to brighten a shine or cut the plastic look when used over most hard finishes including our Hard Shellac as well as polyurethane, nitrocellulose and other lacquer Danish Oil and Organoil.

A little bit on reading instructions:

Many years ago I had a phone call at around 2am from an irate man in USA claiming, no screaming into the phone...
That Shellawax stuff is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE! I'VE PUT 6 COATS ON A BOWL AND A WEEK LATER IT'S STILL A STICKY MESS.... I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
How did you apply it?
SAME WAY I ALWAYS DO SON WITH A GODAM BRUSH!
You do realise it's a friction polish don't you?
DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID SON?
No not yet.... Did you read the instructions on how to apply it as a friction polish.
I DON'T NEED INSTRUCTIONS SON I'VE BEEN FINISHING THING S FOR OVER 50 YEARS AND i CAN TELL YOU THAT YOUR STUFF IS GARBAGE AND YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS!!!
Sorry... I've changed my mind. You're way too stupid to use our products and you can tell your lawyer I said so. Goodnight sir.
WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT SON IT'S LUNCHTIME HERE IN HOUSTON AND I NEED YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS FOR MY LAWYE.....
CLICK
Mumbling on my way back to bed... Silly old fart, silly old fart, bloody, bloody, bloody. Jeeeeez. Can't even read the address on the bottle where he got the phone number from.
Farrrrrk!

Sorry for the Rant.... Mmmmm. No I'm not.

Hope this gives some a bit more information about the 2 product and the differences, as well as buying Australian instead of imported.

Cheers - Neil

**IanW** · 20th August 2020, 09:55 AM

Well, you've kicked off my day with a chuckle, Neill......

The bloke you were talking to - did his name start with a "T"??

**Simplicity** · 20th August 2020, 10:31 AM

Neill,
We all need to vent sometimes.

An ye some people are well what I call Special Special People.

Me personally I would have asked for the idiots lawyer, an billed him for after hours consulting work[emoji6].

CheersMatt
A fan of triple EEE [emoji106]

**Chesand** · 20th August 2020, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by IanW

Well, you've kicked off my day with a chuckle, Neill......

The bloke you were talking to - did his name start with a "T"??

The "T" man would have used Twitter if it had been around - probably doesn't know how to use a phone.

**ubeaut** · 20th August 2020, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by IanW

Well, you've kicked off my day with a chuckle, Neill......

The bloke you were talking to - did his name start with a "T"??

Nup even that orange buffoon wouldn't be that stupid..... Wait.... What did I just say? Ummmm.let me think.

Threatened with lawsuit YES
Didn't give name YES
Yelled and screamed alot YES
Was a little incoherent YES
Obviously couldn't or wouldn't read YES
Wasn't interested in help YES
Sounded tough like school yard bully YES
Bit whiney like a child YES
Sniffed a lot YES
Was fully enraged YES
Had a slightly raspy voice YES
Knew how to do it wrong without instruction YES
50 years of experience (inexperience) YES
Didn't want to be thought of as "stupid" YES
Sounded like an enraged oompa loompa YES
Was likably HELL NO!
Listened to reason HELL NO!
Calmed down after a while HELL NO!
Knew all about finishing HELL NO!
Was likably HELL NO!

Hmmmm..... Now that I think of it. Could well have been the

leader of the Free World, but not my part of it.

TRUMPALOOMPA
trumpaloompa.jpg

**Chesand** · 20th August 2020, 11:46 AM

All of the above pretty much fits.

**ubeaut** · 20th August 2020, 01:18 PM

Forgot to mention.

I'm pretty sure he thought Australia was somewhere in USA hence the lunch time bit.

Over the last 30 odd years have had a number of calls in the wee small hours of the morning from Americans who thought Australia was somewhere in the USA. Even had a number recorded on the answering machine one actually had an ATNT operator on it along with the caller telling the caller that Australia wasn't near Austin or even in Texas. Telstra asked if they could get a copy of because it was 1: impossible, 2: hillarious, 3: would like to play it a a conference.

I'll try to spell the way the accent sounded when I answered the below 3am call:

Womans' strong southern accent said "Youall got a funny ackscennnt." when I sleepily answered the phone, thinking there was an emergency.
I asked where she was from and if she knew where Australia was.
She said "Arrrm from Hooston and Orrrstralia is where Governor Swartsenegger comes from."
No he comes from Austria.
Yes Texas I know.
What can I do for you?
Say whaaat????
What do you want?
I want to sarrrrn urp for y'alls weekly woodcarrvin claaaase.
I'm sorry, But those classer are all fully booked up for the next 5 years... Goodnight.
Say whaart?
CLICK - Wasn't surprised to hear she was from Houston,

almost all weird early morning calls originated from somewhere in Texas.
I sort of felt a bit sorry for her, but felt even more so for my son and his family living in Houston.

Cheers

**russ57** · 20th August 2020, 02:19 PM

You should have booked her in and charged double for a no-show...

**ian** · 20th August 2020, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by ubeaut

Womans' strong southern accent said "Youall got a funny ackscennnt."

I asked where she was from and if she knew where Australia was.

She said "Arrrm from Hooston and Orrrstralia is where Governor Swartsenegger comes from."

No he [Schwarzenegger] comes from Austria.

You could have clarified for the poor soul, you know, that place south of Germany that doesn't have kangaroos.

**Lyle** · 20th August 2020, 02:42 PM

I do know there are no kangaroos in Austria......

**IanW** · 20th August 2020, 03:09 PM

This just gets better & better - I'm having a right good chuckle or two following this nonsense.

Yeah, our cousins across the water don't do a lot of geography in school, it seems. Most can rattle off the names of all the contiguous states quick-smart, but don't ask them where Ontario is (no, it's not in Mexico!). I guess you can see the moon from Florida, so they knew where to aim....

Because we are so damn far from everywhere, and have our cultural cringe, we had to learn a bit of geography to know where to head as soon as we leave school......

Cheers,

**Chesand** · 20th August 2020, 03:17 PM

Having been on several bus tours in Europe, you soon realise that most of them have no idea about Australia. A few were eager to learn.
The Canadians seem to know more - perhaps that is because we had similar beginnings.

**ubeaut** · 20th August 2020, 03:49 PM

You could have clarified for the poor soul, you know, that place south of Germany that doesn't have kangaroos.

WHAT? And have her think I live in South German Town. She was from Hooston. Her brain could have exploded.

I know a lot of people who live in Houston and all the ones i know are very nice people. But ask most of them about anything outside of Houston and they mostly have no idea. Outside of Texas doesn't really exist. Unless they've come from another state but they'll soon get brainwashed.

-------------------------------------

Texan tourist on a bus in Sydney had been bragging long and loud about how big everything is in Texas.

The bus drove in to the Sydney Harbour Bridge and had to stop halfway across due to an accident. The Texan stopped talking, looked out the window saw Sydney Harbour. What's that? he exclaimed.

Ah don't worry mate called the driver We do things here big too, looks like the bloody radiator's sprung a leak.

Apologies to any and all Texans who may be offended by this, but youall may well agree especially if you have broken free from Texas. Even those who came to Auz on holiday and never went back to USA after all why would anyone want to leave the best country in the world to go back to Hell on Earth.

OK. Now I apologise to all Yanks. We love you all but not many of us want to be you. Unless you've got a heap of really great tools and machinery.

Cheers

**Chief Tiff** · 20th August 2020, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by Lyle

I do know there are no kangaroos in Austria......

My beloved and I spent last Xmas in Austria; apparently it was our dream to spend our 50th birthdays there. My memory is a bit hazy on that point (I thought my dream had a lot more jelly-wrestling); but I do know that I couldn't find a single item to purchase as a memento of this... unforgettable experience.

Right up until the last day but one when we were in Vienna; I saw one of these in a little souvenir shop:

Capture.PNG

I bought a couple along with a pair of miniature bottles of "Mozart" liqueur for my co-workers; they found them quite amusing!

**Handyjack** · 20th August 2020, 08:50 PM

Oops. I've looked in the wrong forum.
I find I have been reading a Finishing forum (which I do not normally do).
I thought this was in the Woodies Jokes forum.

Years ago (January 2013) one of the (now deceased) members demonstrated EEE-Ulrtra Shine and I was very impressed with it then.

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