Uncle Archie

A young railway signalman on a remote Scottish Highland branch line decides he's fed up and wants to move to a better position on a main line so he applies for promotion and transfer.
An examiner from the railway company comes to test his skills. "Right", says the examiner. "Here's the scenario. Two trains are heading towards each other on the same track. What do you do?"
The young signalman points to a switch lever and says, "First I'd signal the down train to slow and then throw that lever to move it on to the branch line."
"The lever is frozen solid and you can't move it," says the examiner. "What do you do now?"
"I'd run down along the track to the manual lever and throw the switch to divert the down train."
"The manual lever has been struck by lightning and is locked tight. What now?" asks the examiner.
"I'd run back to the signal box and hit the emergency stop signal and bring both trains to a halt."
"The signal box is on fire," says the examiner. "You can't get in to press the emergency stop. What now?"
"I'd run to the village and fetch my Uncle Archie," says the signalman.
"Your Uncle Archie?" asks the examiner. "Why him?"
"He's never seen a train crash before," says the youngster.

That reminds me of a friend, many years ago, who was doing an induction to work his truck on a mining company railway access road. The scenario was that you'd stalled your truck on a crossing and there's a train coming, "what steps would you take?" askes the examiner, "long ones and often" replied old mate.

Cheers,
Geoff.

An oldie but a goodie
Here is Billy Connolly telling this story. Always a good laugh

https://youtu.be/suHIvvMLWUw