What I've Learned As I've Matured

What I've Learned As I've Matured

> I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can
> do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
>
> I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just
> assholes.
>
> I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only
> takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
>
> I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen
> minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
>
> I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they
> are more screwed up than you think.
>
> I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think
> you're finished.
>
> I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we
> are celebrities.
>
> I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship
> is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of
> money to take its place.
>
> I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in
> your house, one of your kids did it!
>
> I've learned that the people you care most about in life are
> taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just
> never go away.
>
> I've learned to say "F%@& em if they can't take a joke" in 6
> languages.
>