Supportive Wives are better than sharp planes
In another thread I have just read the following statement:
"yeah, always got slabs for sale, but money already spent years in advance. barter goes under the wife's radar"
(I hope the author will forgive me for using his statement.)
I often hear sentiments like this expressed, sentiments to the effect that people's partners are either unsupportive or even openly hostile to their hobbies. I know a man who has a well paid and very stressful job and yet was "given" no allowance for tools or materials each pay. His wife however thought it appropriate to spend $65 per month on her hair and cosmetics. The poor chap considered that even spending some time at the wood show might create difficulties. This is insane.
When a man works, the money is his. Yes, if he has a family he is obligated to provide effective care and support for them and this may even (often) involve great personal sacrifice. If you say that in a good marriage (like mine) the people should consider all of their resources as jointly owned and there to help each to achieve the maximum enjoyment they can get out of life then I would think that this is an even better way of expressing the situation.
But it seems that this way of dealing with resources (including time) is not so common as it should be. I include time, because it is important for people in a relationships to give each other space, much space, to pursue the things that matter to them. Now this is a wood forum and what I say applies very much to the time and space we need to pursue our hobby, but what ever the interest, we should given our partners all the support we can to attaining their goals.
Sometimes when I have taught children to use a plane or a saw you can see that they grip the handle so tightly that it mitigates against any proper use of the tool. So it is with people. You must treat them with a soft and gentle touch. Let them go often to do as they please and when they return they will be more truly yours.
I am sorry wax philosophical in a wood forum but I can think of nothing more frustrating to a woody than to be caught up in a relationship with a non-supportive partner. I have a wonderful wife who is continually on the lookout for ways for me to get more time and tools. I taught my children to look for this same quality in their spouses and I feel very sad for the many people who seem not to be in this situation.