Don't talk to the Parrot

Karen’s dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a cheque”.


“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!”
When the repairman arrived at Karen’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.


The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!”


To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

As a young bloke I worked on Stations in the far west of NSW. The Boss had an old Corella called Chief who could mimmick the Boss to perfection. He would cast the dogs out to work with a gutteral "Go back,"and the dogs would fly into action. One problem...their chains were still attached!
The wife was a devout Catholic and the young stringbean of a priest used to come monthly to visit. As he walked from his car and across the front of the house Chief would hop along the verandah rail, right beside the priest's ear and inform him that he was "Just one big long drink of water" and "The ugliest bastard I have ever seen."
I can relate to "Do not talk to the parrot."

:roflmao: