Scotch with two drops of water

An old woman walks up to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water…


As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today!”


The bartender says, “Well since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.”


As the woman finishes her drink, a young woman sitting next to her says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”


The old woman says, “How nice of you! Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”


“Coming up,” says the bartender.


As she finishes her drink, a man sitting at the bar says, “I would like to buy you a drink, also.”


The old woman says, “Thank you young man! Bartender, another Scotch with two drops of water.”


“Coming right up,” says the bartender.


As he gives her the drink, he asks, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”


The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor… ”


“Holding your water is a whole other issue.”