Search:
Type: Posts; User: Barry Hicks
Search: Search took 0.01 seconds.
-
10th August 2008, 07:30 AM
Thread: Much Ado About Doo-Doo
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,408
A guy I know who had a lawn like you see in...
A guy I know who had a lawn like you see in "House
and Garden" and similar magazines, was having a problem
with a neighbour's dog that visited every morning and left
a message on his pristine... -
8th August 2008, 07:08 AM
Thread: Australia's Iron Lady
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 3
- Views
- 1,522
Australia's Iron Lady
While visiting the UK, Julia Gillard was invited to a
cocktail party which was attended by Margaret
Thatcher.
When she saw the ex-prime minister on the other
side of the room, Julia barged... -
7th August 2008, 05:29 PM
Thread: Now It's My Turn tomartyr
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 5
- Views
- 1,657
I'll pay that one, tomartyr!
I'll pay that one, tomartyr!
-
5th August 2008, 10:08 AM
Thread: Now It's My Turn tomartyr
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 5
- Views
- 1,657
Now It's My Turn tomartyr
50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a "Kiwis are not
stupid" convention. Helen Clark says, "We are all
here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not
stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer?"
A... -
4th August 2008, 11:51 AM
Thread: Silky Oak
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 32
- Views
- 5,425
If you cut the boards into lengths I can fit into...
If you cut the boards into lengths I can fit into my
ute, I will take take it away and dump it for you.
It is lousy burning wood so forget about feeding it
into your heater. -
4th August 2008, 11:45 AM
Thread: In The Beginning
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 0
- Views
- 1,515
In The Beginning
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower, spinich and green, yellow and red vegetables
of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.
Then, abusing... -
3rd August 2008, 07:05 PM
Thread: Got any steam bending pics to show ?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 7
- Views
- 3,178
Jake, years ago in Townsville, there was a boat...
Jake, years ago in Townsville, there was a boat builder
(Matt Taylor?) in Palmer Street, South Townsville who
built large wooden boats - fishing trawlers etc. His premises
were on the bank of... -
3rd August 2008, 06:46 PM
Thread: The Frog and Golf
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,388
The Frog and Golf
Allan decided to have a round of golf at the Royal
Wallan. He is on the second hole when he notices
a frog at the edge of the green. He is about to shoot
when he hears, "Ribbit 9 iron."
Allan... -
2nd August 2008, 07:15 PM
Thread: Sister francis judith's gasoline
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,230
What part of the US is Hinchinbrook in, Wheelin?...
What part of the US is Hinchinbrook in, Wheelin?
I didn't know we had Texaco service stations in Oz
where you could buy gas. -
2nd August 2008, 08:10 AM
Thread: In 1923, Who Was.....
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,525
In 1923, Who Was.....
The US version -
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York stock exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. ... -
1st August 2008, 07:07 AM
- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,264
Perfect Definition - Political Correctness
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered
by a delusional, illogical minority, and
rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous
mainstream media, which holds forth the
proposition that it it entirely... -
28th July 2008, 09:02 AM
Thread: Ten Times Normal Size
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 11
- Views
- 2,058
Ten Times Normal Size
The sixth grade teacher, Mrs Wallan, asked her class,
"Which part of the human body can grow to ten times it's
norman size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood and said,... -
21st July 2008, 05:30 PM
Thread: G'day, I'm new.
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 8
- Views
- 1,847
Come on in Molly, the water's fine and there's...
Come on in Molly, the water's fine and there's very few sharks.
-
21st July 2008, 05:23 PM
Thread: Economical car for Barry
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 5
- Views
- 1,979
I had a look at the car in the toy forum and I...
I had a look at the car in the toy forum and I would
have to give it 10/10.
A full size version wood be great but termites would
be a worry. -
19th July 2008, 07:35 AM
Thread: Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #2
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,474
Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #2
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long
roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower: "American 751, make a hard right at the end of
the runway if you are able. If you... -
18th July 2008, 03:43 PM
Thread: Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #1
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,352
Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #1
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, six miles."
Delta 351: Give us another hint. We have digital watches."
Tower: "TWA 234, for noise abatement, turn right 45 degrees."
TWA... -
17th July 2008, 06:42 AM
Thread: Kevin The Chicken
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,219
Kevin The Chicken
Alan is a poultry farmer. He has thousands of pullets and
dozens of roosters to fertilise the eggs.
Naturally, Allan kept performance statistics of his birds and
any that were'nt performing... -
16th July 2008, 06:45 PM
Thread: Allan'sTrip To The Bigsmoke
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,139
Allan'sTrip To The Bigsmoke
The Wallans recently spent a few days down in
Melbourne and decided to spoil themselves and
stay at a flash hotel.
He said the towels at the hotel were so thick and
fluffy -
-
-
-
- -
15th July 2008, 10:38 AM
Thread: Extravagance
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 0
- Views
- 972
Extravagance
I've just given my wife a lecture on extravagance
and, believe me, there's going to be some changes. -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- -
14th July 2008, 11:05 AM
Thread: For everyone who has a daugther
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 11
- Views
- 2,877
When I first saw it some years back, it was...
When I first saw it some years back, it was attributed
to a US Marine. -
14th July 2008, 09:42 AM
Thread: Revenge Is Sweet
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,383
Revenge Is Sweet
Allan, who is a very shy kind of guy, was down at his
local having a quiet drink when he saw a beautiful woman
sitting alone at the bar.
Allan gathered his courage and went over to the woman... -
12th July 2008, 07:06 PM
Thread: Allan's Annual Medical
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 995
Allan's Annual Medical
Allan was having his annual medical examination. The
doctor pointed to a jar on the shelf and said, "I want
you to fill that."
Allan replied, "What! -
-
-
-
-
- -
10th July 2008, 09:14 AM
Thread: The Pope And The Rabbi
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,278
The Pope And The Rabbi
This is an oldie but I can't find where it's been done
in this forum.
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Jews had
to convert to catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge... -
7th July 2008, 07:16 PM
- Replies
- 3
- Views
- 1,448
Apparently there are none, good or bad Neil.
Apparently there are none, good or bad Neil.
-
7th July 2008, 07:02 PM
Thread: Amazing Flying Story
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 7
- Views
- 1,743
Wheelin, I'm probably better off not knowing.
Wheelin, I'm probably better off not knowing.
-
7th July 2008, 08:39 AM
Thread: Maybe not a joke?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 2,471
I use the same brand of wiper blades as you Joe....
I use the same brand of wiper blades as you Joe.
They have never failed to tell me when they need
replacing. -
7th July 2008, 08:37 AM
Thread: Amazing Flying Story
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 7
- Views
- 1,743
Amazing Flying Story
The most amazing flying story I've ever heard happened
about five years ago somewhere in South America.
A hijacker smashed his way onto the flight deck, killed
both the pilots and then turned... -
6th July 2008, 09:57 AM
Thread: Aviation History
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,356
Aviation History
In 1879, a young man strapped on a pair
of wings and leapt from the top of the
Eiffel Tower.
On that day, two new words were added
to aviation history:
-
-
-
- -
5th July 2008, 10:49 AM
Thread: Insanity In The Family?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,132
Insanity In The Family?
Mrs Wallan was talking with her doctor. The
doctor asks, "Is there any insanity in the
family?"
She replied, -
-
-
-
-
- -
4th July 2008, 06:21 PM
Thread: Finding Adam
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 183
- Views
- 18,015
Very subtle!
Very subtle!
-
4th July 2008, 08:49 AM
Thread: The Thinking Blonde
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,385
The Thinking Blonde
A blonde is driving along a highway and gets a flat.
She pulls over to the shoulder, alights from the
car, opens the boot and takes out two cardboard
men, unfolds them and stands them at the... -
3rd July 2008, 09:31 AM
Thread: Lawyers
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 8
- Views
- 1,700
Lawyers
Allan the tonsorial artist, had just finished cutting
the hair of a priest. When the priest went to pay,
Allan said, "No Father, I can't take your money as
you do the work of the Lord.
Next... -
3rd July 2008, 09:17 AM
Thread: Why Are You Here?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 6
- Views
- 1,713
I looked but I'm not admitting it to you lot.
I looked but I'm not admitting it to you lot.
-
2nd July 2008, 11:56 AM
Thread: Leather Gear
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,353
Leather Gear
Three women: one engaged, one married and one
a mistress, are chatting over coffee and the
conversation turns to their relationships. They
decided to surprise their men. All three would wear ... -
2nd July 2008, 07:26 AM
Thread: Bowl sanding paddles?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 10
- Views
- 2,571
As Jim says. I think the only useful part of the...
As Jim says. I think the only useful part of the
thing would be the 5x10 packs of discs and then
only if they were good quality. -
2nd July 2008, 07:18 AM
Thread: Carob tree
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 9
- Views
- 3,082
I took a chainsaw to a couple some years back and...
I took a chainsaw to a couple some years back and
from memory,the wood was bland white. -
1st July 2008, 11:20 AM
Thread: Cotton
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 13
- Views
- 2,078
I was afraid this was going to be a coarse yarn!
I was afraid this was going to be a coarse yarn!
-
1st July 2008, 10:23 AM
Thread: Computer Problems
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 0
- Views
- 1,119
Computer Problems
I was having problems with my computer so I
called Allan, the 11 y.o. kid next door whose
bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked
him to come over.
Allan clicked a few keys and solved... -
1st July 2008, 06:31 AM
Thread: Daffodils in jam
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,023
The dreaded doggy shag joke.
The dreaded doggy shag joke.
-
29th June 2008, 07:17 PM
Thread: Lets Start A Fight
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,411
Lets Start A Fight
Pick you own polititian-
An old farmer in the outback was getting his injured
arm stitched up by a visiting doctor. To make
conversation, the doctor asked the old bloke what he
thought of... -
28th June 2008, 06:00 PM
Thread: Southern Gentleman
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 1
- Views
- 1,533
Southern Gentleman
After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge,
a real southern gentleman beckoned the waitress back
and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady;
can I persuade y'all to... -
28th June 2008, 05:43 PM
Thread: Religious woodie
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,203
The Bible is full of contadictions. First it...
The Bible is full of contadictions. First it tells
you to 'love thy neighbour' and then it warns
you not to 'covert thy neighbour's wife'.
Apparently it's OK with him but not with her. -
28th June 2008, 05:38 PM
Thread: Family Bible
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 3
- Views
- 1,371
That's what Adam said to Eve at the end of their...
That's what Adam said to Eve at the end of their holiday -
Leaves up, Eve! -
17th June 2008, 08:20 AM
Thread: The Cow From Wallan
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 3
- Views
- 1,500
The Cow From Wallan
The only cow in the small town of Munruben stopped
giving milk. The locals did some research and found
they could buy a cow from Wallan for $200.
They bought the cow and found it was a... -
13th June 2008, 07:20 AM
Thread: Died In His Sleep
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 7
- Views
- 1,884
Died In His Sleep
Wheelin came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside
his sleeping wife and fell into a deep sleep.
He woke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
"You died in your sleep Wheelin."
... -
12th June 2008, 07:44 PM
Thread: Lsd
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,105
I'm not going there Wheelin!
I'm not going there Wheelin!
-
12th June 2008, 04:46 PM
Thread: Great Invention?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,510
Sorry Joe, can't find the email joke with the...
Sorry Joe, can't find the email joke with the picture
of the offending garment and the scientist with the
bejasus beaten out of him.
Some kind sole out there must have it? -
12th June 2008, 04:42 PM
Thread: Lsd
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 2
- Views
- 1,105
Lsd
A younger woodie asks his grandma, "Have you
seen my pills, they are marked LSD?"
Grandma replies, "Damn your pills -
-
-
-
-
-
- -
10th June 2008, 09:14 PM
Thread: Great Invention?
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,510
You left out the photo of the beaten-up scientist...
You left out the photo of the beaten-up scientist that
goes with that one Joe. -
9th June 2008, 06:30 PM
Thread: Power Hacksaw pics.
by Barry Hicks- Replies
- 46
- Views
- 17,799
Holy snapping duck-sh*t. That is a BIG band saw!...
Holy snapping duck-sh*t. That is a BIG band saw!
You will black out half the town when you fire it up.