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Type: Posts; User: Allan at Wallan
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16th June 2022, 04:30 PM
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- 1
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"Delete" choice on taskbar Telstra Big Pond
Hi,
Not sure how but "Delete" has disappeared as one of the options on a message
received in my emails. The bar shows the following options:
New email. Search in Trash. Magnifier. Reply. ... -
18th March 2022, 02:09 PM
Thread: Unexpected Outlay
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 26
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- 20,492
Hi Fred, Have not been on for a while and...
Hi Fred,
Have not been on for a while and noticed you have had your problems
with the hip and leg. I have also had a knee replacement about 15 months
ago but not happy with it.
Hope you are... -
15th November 2021, 11:12 AM
Thread: Good time girl
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Good time girl
I met a girl at a nightclub the other night. She asked me to come outside with her and she would show me a good time.
Naturally I was keen so went outside with her. She ran 100 metres in 9.2... -
27th July 2021, 11:06 AM
Thread: Some old photos of my work
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 38
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- 7,133
Very interesting read - thoroughly enjoyed it.
Very interesting read - thoroughly enjoyed it.
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20th July 2021, 10:10 AM
Thread: Need a knee
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 22
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- 2,692
Sorry Woodpixel, the camera is down on a low...
Sorry Woodpixel, the camera is down on a low shelf in the cupboard and I cannot bend my knee to get to it. (lol).
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19th July 2021, 02:31 PM
Thread: Need a knee
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 22
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- 2,692
Just a follow-up to recent posts ... kneeling on...
Just a follow-up to recent posts ... kneeling on the knee is totally out of the question (too painful). I hope no one takes photos of me
writhing on the ground endeavouring to repair my ride-on... -
19th July 2021, 02:10 PM
Thread: speaking of challenges
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 8
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You should have photographed it before you...
You should have photographed it before you dropped it (lol).
Well done as usual. -
15th July 2021, 06:48 PM
Thread: Need a knee
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 22
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- 2,692
Just returned from seeing the surgeon which is...
Just returned from seeing the surgeon which is now 12 months from when the operation took place.
My knee is still swollen and feels like it is permanently bandaged. Movement not too bad but cannot... -
16th June 2021, 10:17 PM
Thread: Parents
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 1
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Parents
I knocked on the door of a home I lived in when I was much younger.
When they opened the door I asked if I could have a look at the insides "for old times sake".
They immediately slammed the door... -
30th May 2021, 09:57 PM
Thread: Hinges
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Hinges
My front door is in need of attention as the hinges have fallen off.
If you choose to come and talk to me about just remember
... do not bother to call me, the door is always open. -
30th May 2021, 09:52 PM
Thread: "Woodturning" magazines
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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WANTED:VIC Hi Graham, Many thanks for responding but your...
Hi Graham,
Many thanks for responding but your items are not the ones required.
I have been the Librarian at our club for some years and have taken pride in having the complete
collection on hand.... -
18th May 2021, 08:17 PM
Thread: "Woodturning" magazines
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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- 393
WANTED:VIC "Woodturning" magazines
Hi,
Our club, Northern Woodturning Club, has taken pride in establishing a full collection of the
magazine, "Woodturning" which is printed in England.
Unfortunately, for various reasons, the... -
18th May 2021, 08:07 PM
Thread: Hello all!
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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A very warm welcome to you.
A very warm welcome to you.
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25th March 2021, 12:01 PM
Thread: Woodturning Course
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Hi Buggy13, Northern Woodturning Club meet...
Hi Buggy13,
Northern Woodturning Club meet Tuesdays 7.00pm to 10.00pm, Wednesdays 8.00am till noon, Thursdays 7.00pm to 10.00pm.
Venue is the old scout hall in Browning St, Kingsbury (near... -
25th February 2021, 10:28 AM
Thread: Post Office Workers
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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- 825
As a retired Postmaster I might (lol) be offended...
As a retired Postmaster I might (lol) be offended by that.
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29th December 2020, 04:54 PM
Thread: First Pen
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 6
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- 653
You should have started before now and everyone...
You should have started before now and everyone would have received a pen for Christmas. There will be no stopping you now though. Well done!
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26th December 2020, 04:51 PM
Thread: New neighbour
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 0
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- 538
New neighbour
A lovely looking young lady has just moved into the house across the
street from me.
She waved to me, I waved back. She waved again and in turn I waved back to her.
This went on for 15 minutes. ... -
11th December 2020, 09:52 AM
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DRAWN & CLAIMED I'm in.
I'm in.
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5th December 2020, 09:54 AM
Thread: Wrong number
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Wrong number
This morning I meant to ring my brother but dialled 000 in error.
I then set fire to my house as I did not want to look like an idiot
when the Fire Brigade arrived. -
1st December 2020, 03:02 PM
Thread: G'day everyone!
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 5
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A warm welcome to you Timber-Turner. What part...
A warm welcome to you Timber-Turner.
What part of "Australia" are you from? -
9th November 2020, 07:48 PM
Thread: Friday night out
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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Friday night out
My wife and I were arguing aggressively about going out with the blokes
from the football club every Friday night and getting drunk.
She commented, "It's not like I go out every night of the week... -
9th November 2020, 07:33 PM
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DRAWN & CLAIMED I'm in.
I'm in.
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8th November 2020, 05:45 PM
Thread: Need a knee
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 22
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- 2,692
Now 4 months since surgery. Not really happy...
Now 4 months since surgery. Not really happy with results. Knee feels swollen and restricted in movement.
Cannot bend it to the angle required by the surgeon. Not particularly painful, can walk... -
25th October 2020, 09:08 PM
Thread: Wife's Nicknames
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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My wife calls me "Hinges" ... because she...
My wife calls me "Hinges" ... because she thinks I am something to a door.
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20th August 2020, 06:11 PM
Thread: Online horrors
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 33
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Ken Wraight, a member of our Northern Woodturning...
Ken Wraight, a member of our Northern Woodturning Club, was holding a group session in which I was participating. At one stage he heard a decent
catch on my lathe. Politely he walked over and said,... -
19th August 2020, 11:26 AM
Thread: September - PRIZE DRAW - #128
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 399
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- 34,909
CLAIMED "I'm in"
"I'm in"
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5th July 2020, 02:03 PM
Thread: Need a knee
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 22
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- 2,692
Need a knee
Following two arthroscopy operations on my knee I am now booked in for a replacement knee tomorrow.
The hospital rang me two days ago to confirm a couple of details and being totally honest I... -
18th April 2020, 06:09 PM
Thread: Making a statement
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Making a statement
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 and never has 5.
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22nd December 2019, 01:02 PM
Thread: Smoking is not for me.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Smoking is not for me.
I have never had a cigarette in my life but in the last couple of days I have been
breathing in the smoke from the fires in N.S.W. and Victoria. Having experienced
fires in our local area I can... -
4th December 2019, 07:18 PM
Thread: Library problems
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 8
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Library problems
I drecently made friends with a very attractive librarian and asked her
out for a nice evening.
Two weeks later I got fined for returning her late. -
10th November 2019, 09:48 AM
Thread: Spy at the Royal Mint
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 15
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Sorry about that - I mint to type "coins" … now...
Sorry about that - I mint to type "coins" … now amended.
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9th November 2019, 10:45 AM
Thread: Spy at the Royal Mint
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
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Spy at the Royal Mint
Last Christmas I got a job at the Royal Mint as a spy. I had to watch over
fellow employees in case they decided to take a few coins.
I must have done a good job as they presented me with a... -
17th October 2019, 09:42 PM
Thread: Pope visits Wallan
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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Sorry Keith, will not be sending it to you as I...
Sorry Keith, will not be sending it to you as I don't like to boil my cabbages twice (lol).
Where have you been lately ... no emails for ages.
Are you well?
Alan -
14th October 2019, 08:12 PM
Thread: Mother me.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 2
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Mother me.
When I was in my teens I went out with a girl and
asked her to "mother" me.
Imagine my surprise when she spat on her handkerchief
and wiped behind my ears with it. -
7th October 2019, 01:08 PM
Thread: Pope visits Wallan
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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Pope visits Wallan
The Pope visited Wallan recently and intended handing out miracles
to the local youngsters.
Billy, a 16 year old, asked, "Can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pope answered, "Yes", put his hands... -
22nd September 2019, 10:18 AM
Thread: No sleep last night
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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- 1,381
Sorry, should have mentioned, I had been trying...
Sorry, should have mentioned, I had been trying to get her on the phone but to no avail.
She had been away visiting friends and could not speak to her until she returned.
You may be right about... -
21st September 2019, 10:15 PM
Thread: No sleep last night
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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- 1,381
No sleep last night
One of my established Facebook friends sent me a "Friend Request" which seemed a little strange as we were already friends.
I accepted her request and thought no more of it. Strangely I received a... -
21st September 2019, 09:52 PM
Thread: Cows
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 39
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- 6,334
I worked for a farmer who had a cow named Effie....
I worked for a farmer who had a cow named Effie.
He called it Strawberry for short. -
20th September 2019, 04:46 PM
Thread: Surplus chairs
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 0
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Surplus chairs
A friend came to my home the other day and was astounded at the
number of chairs I had throughout the place.
He asked if I was building up a collection.
I replied, "No, I have had many visits to... -
15th September 2019, 09:57 AM
Thread: Cows
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 39
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- 6,334
What would you call a cow with mixed feelings on...
What would you call a cow with mixed feelings on it's gender?
A cow boy. -
12th September 2019, 06:55 PM
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Too late, bets closed almost four years ago (lol).
Too late, bets closed almost four years ago (lol).
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12th September 2019, 06:49 PM
Thread: good morning everybody
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 6
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- 1,211
A very warm welcome to you Tom. As you live in...
A very warm welcome to you Tom. As you live in the Northern part of Melbourne you may consider visiting us
at the Northern Woodturners Club in Browning St Kingsbury. We are located within a... -
29th August 2019, 11:01 AM
Thread: Lost a good friend.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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- 1,201
Just to make amends ... a friend of mine was...
Just to make amends ... a friend of mine was killed the other day when a train ran over his
finger ... it just happened he was scratching his ear at the time. -
29th August 2019, 10:54 AM
Thread: The Greyhound
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 1
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I think that is the same greyhound that I saw in...
I think that is the same greyhound that I saw in which his owner
painted a picture of a bus on him. -
20th August 2019, 11:20 AM
Thread: Lost a good friend.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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- 1,201
Whoops! Just reading other jokes and notice...
Whoops! Just reading other jokes and notice Chief Tiff has used this in his response.
My apologies mate … did not see yours until after I had posted mine. -
20th August 2019, 11:15 AM
Thread: Lost a good friend.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 3
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Ahhh, there are usually three rings involved....
Ahhh, there are usually three rings involved.
The engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the dreaded suffering. -
19th August 2019, 09:25 PM
Thread: Vegans
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 5
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- 1,444
Vegans
A bloke recently said to me, "Men who sell meat are gross"
I replied, "Men who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer". -
1st August 2019, 09:06 PM
Thread: We all need good knees.
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 9
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- 4,860
Have hardly been on the Forum lately and just...
Have hardly been on the Forum lately and just noticed this thread.
Thank you for your best wishes.
Alan -
27th July 2019, 10:48 AM
Thread: Faith healer meeting
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,042
Kryn, Have faith in me mate (lol).
Kryn, Have faith in me mate (lol).
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26th July 2019, 07:57 PM
Thread: Faith healer meeting
by Allan at Wallan- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1,042
Faith healer meeting
I went to a meeting with friends to a faith healer last night.
He was so boring three blokes in wheelchairs got up and ran home.
:doh: