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These three statements tell you a lot about our government and
our culture:

1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few
lunatics,
but we are encouraged to judge ALL...

"The Budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled,
public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be
tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign ...

Home - bugger the bankers

Have a sing along!

A gnaughty gnome?

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as...

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of...

A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.
When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff's deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the...

You can sing along with this one.
YouTube - The drunk Scotsman with lyrics - Irish rovers

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the...

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr....

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study...

Terror Threats in 2011 Europe,?
by John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have...

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London .
Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that
catches his eye.
The sign said: "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each,...

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report,...

50?F
People in Southern England turn on the central heating

People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants


40?F

Southerners shiver uncontrollably

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun...

Charles and Shirley were attending church services.
About halfway through, Charles writes
a note and hands it to Shirley.
It says, " I just let out a silent fart.
What do you think I should...

A Newfoundlander is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. When the call ends, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a...

131430

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior."I thought this was the...

The poor people using the crossing were quickly eaten by Mongo.

Try Monte Cristo.

To fee or not to fee.

Can this really be true?
A Well-Planned Retirement - From The London Times:

TRUE STORY

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking
lot for 150 cars and 8...

Bless you my son.

Money-----power-----tools.

Mommy, I need a happy meal!

There's gotta be some water around here somewhere................

Declared

I was informed that it was taken from the Ottawa Citizen but you could be right even though it is believable.

Questionable employees




Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 300
Employees and has the following statistics?
30 have been accused of spousal abuse.
9 have...

"I'll clear this thing with a standing jump and hope it doesn't end up in me kilt"

Not whilst wearing

When bike thieves strike...........................

Alar

Hazzard

Like this one the most.

And mustard

111001

Nose job

.........one small step for man......................

Gps

A chip off the old block.

Old cook

My Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment...

Well. I did say that I like teeny weenies.

This is where I starred in many movies.

Oop's gotta go..........

Don't eat yellow snow.

Wigglies