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Must have logged onto Sky News by mistake?

He needs to listen to Ray Hadley like these blokes!

One of the best 2 Ronnies jokes:
News Break: From South Africa, A trusty prisoner has escaped in the Rand. Or should that read, a randy prisoner has escaped in a truss?

Is this the section where you can have something made?
Wanting one night stand!

Agreed, but some of us are so old, we forget the jokes told 30 years ago.
If you hear a joke for the first time, no crime in sharing.
CP

Ah, finally some new ones. Thanks DTH1.

My minds in a vacuum. Can't think of a reply.

I'm in.

Try living on a block with dogs on 3 sides whose owners don't give a rats about barking.
Thank goodness for workplace induced hearing loss.

I have to be careful, they block plane speech on here and if I mentioned 'vice', it could be sent to the other Forum.

Some of these puns are so old I saw-dust around them.

This has become a Trite On the silly side!

Is that awl you can give us?

Same joke, different ending. Apologies if I read it here. Getting old, can't remember.

Wife is trying on new slacks and asks husband
Does my bum look big in these?
Husband is smart and replies,...

Tectonic plate offered role in Federal Cabinet after being a bit shifty | The Chaser

NSW to receive $700m disaster relief after Victoria hit by earthquake | The Chaser

That third one was pretty good.

Another 'like' from me Old Croc!
I've heard lots of these jokes before- not that one and never complained. If you like the joke, fire it up I say.

Main front door or fly screen door? I wouldn't like to come visiting and strain myself!

I pulled an old bottle of Kahlua out of the cellar. 26%. Bottles available now are 20%.

Girl comes up to him in a bar and says, you're a good looker. Can I have your phone number?
Sure, have you got a pen?
Yes.
Well the farmer is going to want you in it before it gets dark!

He's sitting in a bar and a gorgeous woman sits next to him. Wanting a good line he says,
Look at my watch, it's an x ray machine.
I dont believe you, she replies.
Well it shows me you are not...

There I was minding my own business in a bar and a lady walks up.
She says, You know with a shave and a good tidy up you would be a good looker!
I replied, if I had a shave and a good tidy up, I...

There was the guy who went to the Berala BWS and asked for a case of Corona.

I'm in.

The second in charge here looks out the window and says
' The guy next door is stealing a pair of my nickers off the clothesline.
I don't mind so much because they are old but I want the 8 pegs...

I'm in

Pm sent

Yes, pretty sure its in the shed. Will look tomorrow and send you p.m.

I'm in.

Thanks have contacted them.

I have $30 left on a Red Balloon voucher which is yours free to add to your own voucher. You can't get much for $30. Must be used by November.
Or does anyone have a charity that would be able to add...

I advertised an older one of these a while back. It was a gift and it only takes up space. Think I asked $50?
Very heavy so a problem to post but would anybody have a good home for it, free !...

What does a shadow minister do after the Sun goes down?

People say I'm a plagiarist.
Their words, not mine!

If unable to purchase, I have 2 to spare.
CP

Not clear on what this is? My Triton is in a table with guard removed so I could have what you need.

Not another joke but true. A local business owner is in trouble here for putting a $100 note in a womans cleavage. Dont know what he expected or whether it has worked before without any repercussions?

Makita parcel sent.

I have the Makita stuff you need.
Im in Southern Highlands, NSW.

Well how about the word 'cleave'

It can mean to join or to cut in half.

They have already taken the cream of the comebacks!

Sold

SOLD Pending payment.
Thank you.

I have 2 Japanese Waterstones for sale. Absolutely new. One still in the plastic wrap. Boxes in new condition.
I purchased these at a Woodshow from a highly respected toolmaker that you all know,...

Sold

Sold

Sold

All clamps SOLD. Thank you.

CP

2 clamps SOLD.
1 clamp + winder avaliable.

CP