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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    I was walking in our local Mall, when a young...

    I was walking in our local Mall, when a young lady asked if she could show me a good time. I replied "I'd like to, but I only have $10.00 on me", her reply was that I wouldn't get much for that...
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    I hear that they got 625,000 euros for Lady...

    I hear that they got 625,000 euros for Lady Dianna's car, but it cost Andrew 12million euros for his Escort.
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    Monetary Exchange

    This was an email sent to me.

    Now that the Queen has passed, all monetary notes are no longer valid,
    and will need to be replaced with ones with King Charles the III picture on them.
    Please...
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    You know when you go shopping for only a few...

    You know when you go shopping for only a few items, and they ask, "Would you like a bag?"
    My answer is always, "No thanks, just got rid of one!!!"
    I get few bad looks, but I get a lot of smiles...
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    I found out why Brian died?????? He wanted...

    I found out why Brian died??????

    He wanted some piece and quiet.
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    Wonderful Brian

    A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!


    Passenger: "Who?"


    Cabbie: "Brian...
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    Jewish Bra

    A man walked into the women's department of Macy's in New York City. He found a saleslady, and told her, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B."
    With a quizzical look the saleslady asked,...
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    Solicitor's Porsche

    A London Solicitor parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
    As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding along too close to the kerb and...
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    Mechanic Vs Heart Surgeon

    The Mechanic was removing the cylinder head from an engine of a car, when a well known Surgeon entered the workshop.
    The mechanic said "Doc, take a look at this car, I open its heart, take out the...
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    THANK YOU Laurie :2tsup:. The same goes this way,...

    THANK YOU Laurie :2tsup:. The same goes this way, anytime for ANYONE.
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    Thanks Tony, I really needed a boost at the...

    Thanks Tony, I really needed a boost at the moment, the black dog has come back!!!
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    The Putinator

    Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.


    "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she...
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    Putin Joke

    Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behaviour.

    So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

    -Is Crimea ours?

    -Yes,...
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    Who is running the world ???

    Biden, Putin, and Xi were arguing about Who's in charge of the world?

    US, Russia, or China?

    Without any conclusion, they turned to "Narendra Modi", the Indian Prime Minister and asked him...
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    Sunday Sermon

    A small church had a very attractive, big-busted organist named Linda. Her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.


    Unfortunately, this distracted the...
  16. Thread: Dentures

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Dentures

    A parson went to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
    The first Sunday after he got his new teeth, he talked for only eight minutes.
    On the second Sunday he talked for only ten minutes.
    On the...
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    Amazon Box

    I replaced my cat litter tray with an Amazon box.

    Now when its full, I just tape it shut and place it

    on the front porch for someone to steal.
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    Brad was upset...

    Brad lives in Melbourne, he was sick of the World, of Covid-19, Chinese belligerence, global warming, species extinction, racial tension, and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the...
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    Computer Funny

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
    (Now I know why they record these conversations!):


    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
    Caller: 'Yes,...
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    A True Scotsman

    A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.


    For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,...
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    Lost the Wife

    An elderly couple are out for a drive in the country, when the driver noticed the fuel gauge was getting low.
    A few miles up the road was a service station, while he's filling the tank, not noticing...
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    I nicknamed my boss Politician, when asked why...

    I nicknamed my boss Politician, when asked why that name, I replied makes a mess everywhere and expects everyone else to clean it up!!!
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    The Jackass

    Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside....
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    GOING TO: If you care to have a meet up, for a coffee and a...

    If you care to have a meet up, for a coffee and a chat, if you have time, let me know and I'll PM you my mobile number?
    Regards,
    Kryn
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    Job Interview

    At a wine merchant's, the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

    A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.

    The director of...
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    Lady Golfer

    A Blonde was on the Golf Course and took a big swing and fell.
    The party that was waiting behind her was a group from Canberra that included Anthony Albanese.
    Anthony quickly stepped forward and...
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    Irish remorse

    Apology from an Irish Hospital...such compassion!


    DEAR MR. FLANAGAN,
    We are pleased to inform you that the biopsy of the redness on your p###s showed it was not cancerous.
    It was lipstick.
    We...
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    Heavens Entrance Exam

    Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day.
    The Queen and Dolly both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. But unfortunately, there's only one space left that...
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    Blind Date

    Paddy sets Mick up on a date and say's "She's a lovely girl but there's something you should know.


    She's expecting a baby." Mick shrugs his shoulders and say's "Ok. I'll give it a go."


    The...
  30. Welcome to the new world order: Ordering a Pizza in 2022

    CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?

    GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

    CALLER: I must have dialled a wrong number, sorry.

    GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

    CALLER: OK. I would...
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    Walking on the grass

    The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

    The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles...
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    The Aisle, the Altar and the Hymn

    Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:-


    Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and...
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    A Touching Story.

    Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of ​​living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally...
  34. Thread: Hameed

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Hameed

    A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco.


    None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me...
  35. Thread: Cricket

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Cricket

    Q. Why don't the Chinese play Cricket?
    A. Because they keep eating the bats!!!!
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    Lady of the Night

    A lady of the night was up before the Judge, who asked her, "So when did you realise that you were raped?"
    The lady of the night, wiping a way a tear answered, "When the cheque bounced!!"
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    Thief will get a surprise!!!

    An elderly lady was walking her dog when a young man grabbed her purse and ran away.
    I asked if she was OK.
    She smiled and said it was really no big deal because she carried her old purse to put...
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    An Armed Thief

    An armed thief entered a house mid-afternoon and found two people there.


    He tied up the woman and ordered the man at the point of his gun to hand over the family's jewellery and other valuables....
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    Logic .. from an uncluttered Mind!

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was...
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    How True This Is

    1.Mechanical Repair -
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    2.Law of Gravity -
    Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to...
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    This is the wrong section of the forum for a...

    This is the wrong section of the forum for a joke.
    What did you think was coming???
    Kryn
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    Give Away 6040 router bench/console

    Some time ago I bought a 6040 CNC Router, in the end I gave it back as I couldn't get my head around it, as I'm technologically retarded.:D
    But I'd built a cabinet with drawers and space for the...
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    The pics might be attractive, but are they WHO...

    The pics might be attractive, but are they WHO the say they are!!!!!
    The lad next door has been taken in a few times by the SAME one, keeps saying she's coming over here, but ended up in hospital,...
  44. I've known women who could do that without a...

    I've known women who could do that without a problem, and seen a video clip where one drank skulled a pint in about20 seconds
  45. This Is Alarming.............................

    Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
    Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female...
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    Married 50 years - Priceless!

    After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said to her,


    "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and...
  47. The Secret of a Long Italian Marriage

    At Saint Mary’s Catholic Church in South Philly they have a weekly “Husband’s Only” marriage
    seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding...
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    Country Doctor

    A young doctor had moved out to a small country community to replace a doctor who was retiring.


    The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could...
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    Christmas Turkey

    Two drunks, John and Pete, are sitting on a park bench approaching Christmas time, and
    Pete starts bragging about his great roast turkey recipe.

    “Hey John, here’s my recipe for roast turkey,”...
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    Ralph and Edna

    Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

    One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

    He sank to the bottom of the...
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