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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    Politicians

    While stitching up a cut on the hand of a 76 year old farmer, who's hand got caught in a cattle crush, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

    Eventually the conversation came around...
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    Sticky: Polycephaly

    Polycephaly
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    Do you know how hard it is to find a joke, that...

    Do you know how hard it is to find a joke, that can be placed here, without getting banned???
  4. Thread: Lemon

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Lemon

    Lemon


    The local bar is so sure that its bar tender is the strongest man around
    that they offer a standing $1,000 bet. The bar tender squeezes a lemon until
    all the juice runs into a glass, and...
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    Wooden Start

    484858
  6. Why women are much better at estate planning

    Mike was a single guy, living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.


    Mike wanted two things:
    • to learn...
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    Sticky: Hawk

    Hawk
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    Sorry, thought it was in reference for your first...

    Sorry, thought it was in reference for your first venture.
    About the only thing I can suggest, is that you make sure it can't be improved on, and that if you decide to produce it, that it sells for...
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    My second wife used to complain when I went out...

    My second wife used to complain when I went out for a drink with the boys. Eventually I invited her along, I asked what she'd like and said "I'll have the same as you". So I ordered 2 Bundy and Coke,...
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    My first wife and I had a 40/60 relationship, I'd...

    My first wife and I had a 40/60 relationship, I'd earn 40 and she'd spend 60:?
    Her nickname was "Hermitt" Her mitt was always in my wallet.
    I can't remember which famous comedian said, that...
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    Hi Chris, as others have mentioned getting a...

    Hi Chris, as others have mentioned getting a patent on something is expensive. I know of someone who had a friend, had one of Australia's top patent attorney, write up his patent. He had massive...
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    My father once told me marriage was like an...

    My father once told me marriage was like an institution.
    Who in their right mind want to live the rest of their life in an institution????:D
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    Black and White Folks

    This was written by a Black gentleman in Texas and is so funny.
    What a great sense of humour... and so creative!!!


    When U is Black, U is Black!
    When I was born, I was Black
    When I grew up, I...
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    Mushrooms

    She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.


    Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing...
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    Sticky: Gelding

    Gelding
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    Sticky: Southern Cross Aircraft

    Southern Cross Aircraft
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    I think they're called a womb with a view.

    I think they're called a womb with a view.
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    That's not a very big shed, but it is tall:D....

    That's not a very big shed, but it is tall:D. That existing shed looks ideal for a CNC machine.
    Glad to hear that you're getting a decent size shed to work out of.:2tsup:
    Kryn
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    Home made versus bought

    Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that she had her first Family Planning Lesson at school.
    Her mother very interested said "OH..... How did it go?"
    "I nearly died of shame!" She...
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    Three Brazilians

    Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told Joe Biden "This morning, three Brazilian people died from COVID-19.”


    Biden’s face turned white...
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    Lie Clocks

    A man died and went to Heaven.


    As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'


    St. Peter answered, “Those are...
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    Sticky: Absurdity

    Absurdity
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    Sticky: Liars

    Liars
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    AHH yes but can they get a job with all that...

    AHH yes but can they get a job with all that knowledge??? I'd rather be a dumbass and get a job, than have all sorts of letters after my name and not get a job.

    Kryn
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    Wife's Nicknames

    Jim was listening to the radio this morning when the
    host invited callers to reveal the nicknames they had for their wives.


    The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife,


    ...
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    Doctors Dilemma

    Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time & decided that in spite of their two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space...





    Dr....
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    The Golden Telephone

    An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

    So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA...
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    Sticky: Lee Enfield

    Lee Enfield
  29. Seminar on how to live in a loving relationship

    A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands
    The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

    All the women raised their hands.
    ...
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    Sticky: 24/7

    24/7
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    As they say "To Err is human, to stuff things up...

    As they say "To Err is human, to stuff things up completely takes a computer"
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    The gas bill

    In March 1999 a man living in NSW, received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.
    He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one...
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    At my age, if I drop something I think "Do I...

    At my age, if I drop something I think "Do I really want or need it".
    Kryn
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    Sticky: Womb with a view

    Womb with a view
  35. Thread: Two nuns

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Two nuns

    There were two nuns...




    One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
    It is getting dark and they are still far away from the...
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    The parrot is dead

    At dawn the telephone rings.

    "Hello, Senor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

    "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

    "Um, I am just...
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    Sticky: Copy paper

    Copy paper
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    In a similar vain, "Children have no respect for...

    In a similar vain, "Children have no respect for their parents!" Would you believe that this comment was made in the days of Julius Caesar
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    The Social Strata

    Cicero of the Roman Emperor wrote this about the situation during his lifetime :


    1. The poor, work & work.


    2. The rich, exploit the poor.


    3. The soldier, protects both.
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    Sticky: Uncle

    Uncle
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    Art collector

    A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to
    speak to his client.


    "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."


    The art collector replied, "You...
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    The older I get, the better I was.

    Several days ago as I left a meeting at the football club, I couldn't find my car keys.


    They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the club revealed nothing.


    Suddenly I realized, I must...
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    Does anyone know how to tell the difference...

    Does anyone know how to tell the difference between Bull***t and Cow***t???
    Throw a shovel full into the air, if it comes down that'll be the cow***t,
    and if it stays up there that's bull***t:D...
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    I'm a BA too, Bull**** Artist that is:D

    I'm a BA too, Bull**** Artist that is:D
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    The world we live in.

    A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.


    So she went to check it out. She went to...
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    Sticky: Whisk

    Whisk
  47. The email jokes have been few and far between,...

    The email jokes have been few and far between, well the ones acceptable for here anyway.:rolleyes:
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    My Father once told me that marriage was like an...

    My Father once told me that marriage was like an Institution,
    who in there right mind want to spend their life in an institution????
  49. Why Irish Eyes Are Full Of Laughter..

    Paddy was driving down the street
    in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking...
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    Why marry?

    WHY MARRY - WITH APOLOGIES TO ALL THE GOOD MEN OUT THERE!

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
    'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married...
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