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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    The Coffee Shop

    Life just gets better as you get older, doesn’t it?
    I was in a coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realised that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the...
  2. Thread: Car park

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Car park

    A lady was very impressed with her pup’s achievement at “puppy preschool” and decided to put it to the test during a visit at the local supermarket.
    After she parked the car, she wound down the...
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    Sticky: Ping

    Ping
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    Hi Graeme, Contact Helen Harris for Scroll Saw...

    Hi Graeme,
    Contact Helen Harris for Scroll Saw Blades and other Accessories ochjh@scrolling.com.au 0428 826 224. Helen Harris 08 8531 3440 ...
    Regards
    Kryn
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    Old is When............

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your friends compliment you
    On your new alligator shoes
    And you're barefoot.


    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    A sexy babe catches your fancy
    And your pacemaker opens the garage door,
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    Sticky: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sleep

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sleep
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    My brother used to drink Scotch and Coke, he'd...

    My brother used to drink Scotch and Coke, he'd get crook, then he tried rum and Coke, he'd get crook, Port and Coke, again he'd get crook. He reckoned that the common thing amongst it all was the...
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    Scotch with two drops of water.

    A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'...
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    More Blonde Jokes

    CAR TROUBLE
    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.
    She says, “What's the story?”
    He replies,...
  10. Thread: Brains

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Or not thinking at all!!!! My second wife rang me...

    Or not thinking at all!!!! My second wife rang me once at work, she couldn't get her car started, so I drop everything and make sure I've the jumper leads, head off to where she worked, found her and...
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    Sticky: Eraser

    Eraser
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    Appendix Operation

    A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix..
    The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his...
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    Sticky: Coyote and Road Runner

    Coyote and Road Runner
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    Sticky: Big Lizzy

    Big Lizzy
  15. Going by your pics it shouldn't be too hard to...

    Going by your pics it shouldn't be too hard to make a bracket yourself. I'd say that the bracket fell off and someone going past picked it up, like a bower bird, thinking t might come in handy for...
  16. Thread: Brains

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Brains

    In the hospital, where their family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room.


    Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.


    'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of...
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    Sticky: Man eaters

    Man eaters
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    Is that a bit like, "Who called the Cook a...

    Is that a bit like, "Who called the Cook a Ba****d, Who called the Ba****d a Cook"
    Sounds like typical Military, you had a job as a truck driver and they make you a cook, had a job as a cook, and...
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    Sticky: Fungal

    Fungal
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    Dead Mouse

    A young Digger in his new uniform walks into a seedy pub in Townsville. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old soldier with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili con carne....
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    That's a worry, it could come back as a mutation,...

    That's a worry, it could come back as a mutation, and stronger!!!!
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    Sticky: To lets

    To lets
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    What's your name??

    The Sergeant Major noticed a new squaddie and barked at him,
    "Get over here now."
    "What's your name soldier?"
    "John" the soldier replied.
    "Look I don't know what army you think you have joined...
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    Sticky: Ewe

    Ewe
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    Nice and cheap idea. A few years ago, there was a...

    Nice and cheap idea. A few years ago, there was a bloke on Shark Tank trying to get the panel to invest in his wheelie bin coupling, which hooked on to the towball, can't remember how he got on...
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    Sticky: Exceptional

    Exceptional
  27. Thread: Spit

    by KBs PensNmore
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    NO it's your dirty mind!!!!!

    NO it's your dirty mind!!!!!
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    I've set mine up similar to this, without the...

    I've set mine up similar to this, without the extra flexi hose, before the DE, into a large wheelie bin that I found on the side of the road.
    HONESTLY I DID OFFICER.
    472811
    It then goes into the...
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    More Irish Stories

    An Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says


    “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.


    “So the doctor gives the man...
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    That's only because they still have long drops...

    That's only because they still have long drops there!!!!
  31. Thread: Spit

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Spit

    I was out on this date with a young lady,
    when I asked "Do you spit or swallow?"
    She slapped my face and stormed off.....
    I'm never taking anyone wine tasting again!!!!
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    Some GROANERS

    Thought I'd get in first!!:D

    I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's...
    She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!


    I went for a walk with a girl the...
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    Light Irish Humour

    An Irishman's first drink with his son

    While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.

    Off we went...
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    You could but it doesn't break down in the water...

    You could but it doesn't break down in the water easily,
    and ends up blocking the drain. DAMHIKT
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    Newspapers

    If breweries can produce Sanitizer,
    Why can't newspapers produce toilet paper????
    Half of what they print now is crap anyway
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    .Never underestimate the elderly!

    The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”
    The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
    The old lady then...
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    Sticky: Fiery

    Fiery
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    Sticky: Owl

    Owl
  39. An interesting aside to all this is that China is...

    An interesting aside to all this is that China is trying to dominate the world by lending monies to small countries, knowing that there's no way that they can make any repayments.China ‘colonising...
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    Republican Sitting in a Bar

    A union boss walks into a bar from the factory next door, and is about to
    order a beer when he sees a guy at the far end of the bar wearing a
    "TRUMP, Make America Great Again" cap with a mug of...
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    7 degrees of Blondes

    FIRST DEGREE
    A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
    at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
    listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles...
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    Sticky: Liberal or Labour

    Liberal or Labour
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    A few Funnies.

    My wife sent me a text that said, "Your Great"

    So, naturally, I wrote back, "No, you're great."

    She's been walking around all day happy and smiling.

    Should I tell her I was just correcting...
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    F Clamp Rack

    Found this F clamp rack in an email, and thought it a handy idea.
    Clamp rack made with EMT Conduit - HomemadeTools.net

    Hope it provides some help for you.
    Kryn
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    Two Old Codgers

    Two "old codgers" are sitting on a park bench when a jogette trots past, one old codgers says to the other,
    "I still get excited when I see one of those,......I just can't remember why".
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    Sticky: Vet

    Vet
  47. Sounds just like typical Government gobbledygook....

    Sounds just like typical Government gobbledygook. "We must not touch our lips", says she, who licks her finger to turn a page of her speech.
    Kryn
  48. Thread: My Wife

    by KBs PensNmore
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    yet

    yet
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    They've polluted the Seas and Earth, now the...

    They've polluted the Seas and Earth, now the skies, what's next..
    Wonder what'll happen if one gets out of sync from where it should be, and crashes into another?????
    Kryn
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    Sticky: Lounge

    Lounge
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