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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    Sticky: Tyre

    Tyre
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    Thanks

    Thanks
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    I heard of a Scotsman who was at a Gentlemens...

    I heard of a Scotsman who was at a Gentlemens Only Club, and took the cash that was stuffed in the ? string of one of the ladies there, and then ran his credit card down the back of the ?string.
    ...
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    Who owns the big white horse?

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer.


    After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger...
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    Hi Erick, THANKS, NOT YET, I have a problem...

    Hi Erick, THANKS, NOT YET, I have a problem called time, or lack of it. I get home about 6.30 -7.00 pm or later lately, and by the time I have dinner, it's too late to make noises.
    I need to work...
  6. Thread: Painter

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Painter

    An Irishman is down on his luck, no home, no job, nothing to his name. He's knocking on houses in the hope of getting some odd job work to buy some food.
    He knocks on a door and explains to the...
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    GORE WARNING When I was quite young about 13-14, I nailed...

    When I was quite young about 13-14, I nailed myself to a fence that I was pulling down for my father.
    It was a pine pailing, (where sides of a log are cut off about 100 - 150 wide) I was hitting the...
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    Jokes that can be told in church

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.


    One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'


    The other boy replied,...
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    Electrician

    People are often shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am!
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    Sticky: Where Politicians Live

    Where Politicians Live
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    Murphy the Painter

    A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.

    Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming
    to the...
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    Sticky: Horizon

    Horizon
  13. Donald Trump on a fact-finding visit.

    Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.


    While he is on a tour of Jerusalem, he suffers a heart attack and dies.


    The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, ...
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    Sticky: Fly Buys

    Fly Buys
  15. There is no maximum length of a caravan as such,...

    There is no maximum length of a caravan as such, the limiting factor is that the combined length of the towing vehicle and towed vehicle (caravan/trailer, etc) must not exceed 19 metres in length. ...
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    Sticky: Gremlins (Usually mischievous invisible creatures...

    Gremlins (Usually mischievous invisible creatures found in sheds, hiding the item we're looking for)
  17. Homemade Woodturning Ornament Rotative Tool

    Saw this in an email and thought the members on here may like to make one or more.Woodturning ornament rotative tool - HomemadeTools.net
    Kryn
  18. Plus the fact (as far as I know) tandems tow a...

    Plus the fact (as far as I know) tandems tow a lot better (stable) than single axled units. Especially when the wind/suction from passing semitrailers going in the opposite direction.
    Kryn
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    Some oldies and some goodies….

    My Wife isn't talking to me, she said I ruined her birthday. I'm not sure how... I didn't even know it was her birthday.


    I was so happy and content as I watched the wife drift off last...
  20. Thread: Shingles

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Shingles

    A guy walks into the doctors office and the receptionist asked what he had.
    He said "Shingles".
    So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to take a seat.
    A few...
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    Sticky: Major

    Major
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    Wealthy Businessman

    An extraordinarily handsome and wealthy businessman decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman, so they could produce beautiful children beyond comparison...........
    With that as...
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    Oil Shortage in Australia

    This has probably been submitted before, but we have New Members on here that may not have read this important message.

    A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here...
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    Sticky: Burgermeister

    Burgermeister
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    One day in Canada

    One day in Canada, a truck driver stops for a red light,
    a Blonde who is in the car behind, catches up.
    She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the truck door....
    The truck...
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    Ranch Inspection

    One day a DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with the old rancher...
    He tells the rancher..... "That he needs to inspect the ranch for any illicit crops"
    The Rancher says, "OK, but...
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    On Safari

    Benny went on safari in West Africa with his wife and Mother In Law................
    One evening, while still deep in the jungle,
    his wife awoke to find her mother was gone...........
    Rushing to...
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    Sticky: Rucksack

    Rucksack
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    This was back in the early 70's. A friend of mine...

    This was back in the early 70's. A friend of mine did that from Adelaide to Cook (on the railway line to WA) I think it was, he was on his way to Kalgoorlie with some items for the son over there. He...
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    Banking with the Elderly

    After reading this you may wish to develop your own response to organizations where their procedures irk you.



    Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman....
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    As Clean As Cold Water Can Get Them

    Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a...
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    Advice from the coach

    At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball
    players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a
    team is?' The little boy nodded in the...
  33. Thread: Dinner

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Dinner

    I was out to dinner the other night and two women were fighting over me, so much so, I ended up having to ring the Police.
    I told him that there were two women fighting oer me.
    The officer who...
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    Unfortunately, I think that Transport Inspectors...

    Unfortunately, I think that Transport Inspectors are not involved with this type of transportation, in SA at least. And the Police don't seem to care as it would be too much paperwork involved.
    I've...
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    Sticky: Blinds

    Blinds
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    Sticky: Bakelite

    Bakelite
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    Sticky: Fever Pitch

    Fever Pitch
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    Sticky: Makes Perfect

    Makes Perfect
  39. Thread: Id.

    by KBs PensNmore
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    An oldie, BUT a goodie. Thanks for the giggle....

    An oldie, BUT a goodie.
    Thanks for the giggle.
    Kryn
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    I've been in 3 out of 4 of the groups you listed....

    I've been in 3 out of 4 of the groups you listed. Guess which one I missed out on????
    If you don't appreciate the intent of Humour, then don't read it.
    Sorry if it offended you.
    Kryn
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    After reading that, I'm afraid to close my...

    After reading that, I'm afraid to close my eyes!!!!!
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    This joke won the best joke award

    An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."
    ...
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    Seniors Tax Return

    I just received an audit on my tax return for 2018 back from the ATO. It puzzles me!!!
    They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
    I guess it was because of my response to the question:...
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    Cuckoo Clock

    The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily....
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    Why marry?

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
    'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
    ________

    A lady inserted an ad in the...
  46. Thread: Diy cnc

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Setting it up is the easy part, basically bolting...

    Setting it up is the easy part, basically bolting it all together, it's the actual drawing and settings of the drivers that are the tricky bits, well for me anyway.
    For that money, I'd find out for...
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    Confessional

    Little Johnny went to the confessional. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a very keen girl,” he said.
    The priest asked: “Is that you, Little Johnny?”


    “Yes, Father, it is.”
    ...
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    Some more Para whatevers

    Did you hear about the population of Ireland? It's Dublin.


    What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? Roaming Catholic


    That clown just paid my bill. What a nice jester!
    ...
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    Sticky: Non Slip

    Non Slip
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    Paraprosdokian

    The following are paraprosdokians. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous:

    *If I had a dollar for every girl that...
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