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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    Minister at the Pearly Gates

    A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

    Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

    Saint Peter addresses this guy,

    "Who...
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    I remember the 60's, I was naive and didn't know...

    I remember the 60's, I was naive and didn't know about the drugs and stuff, I was a country boy pure and SIMPLE.:D
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    Me Feelin's on the Crisis

    I'm normally a social girlI love to meet my mates
    But lately with the virus here
    We can't go out the gates.

    You see, we are the 'oldies' now
    We need to stay inside
    If they haven't seen us for...
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    Sticky: Gloves

    Gloves
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    Seniors Shopping Line

    I was on a long line at 7:45 am today at Woolworths that opened at 8 for seniors only.

    A young man came from the parking lot, and tried to cut in at the front of the line,
    but an old lady beat...
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    Lexophilia

    • How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

    • Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!


    • A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.


    • I used to be a banker, but then I...
  7. Gardening Australia did a segment some time back...

    Gardening Australia did a segment some time back and used 32mm poly pipe over star droppers, holes were drilled in the poly to allow wires to be fed through to support the poly sheet that went over...
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    Sticky: Stoned

    Stoned
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    I've based my answer on the neanderthals that...

    I've based my answer on the neanderthals that roam the streets here in this town!!!
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    The Brass Plate just says McPherson's

    The Brass Plate just says McPherson's
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    I've a friend who has one similar in his shed,...

    I've a friend who has one similar in his shed, has it hooked up to his tractor power take off to run it, as he's on single phase.
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    I've found the easiest way to check squareness of...

    I've found the easiest way to check squareness of the blade, is to use a piece of 75 X 50, cut in about 2-3mm on the 75 side, then turn it 180 degrees and line it up with the cut, once the machine is...
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    Sticky: Hutt River Province

    Hutt River Province
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    Makes you wonder about the future generations, I...

    Makes you wonder about the future generations, I think that their memory holding container got over filled in school, so they emptied enough out to be able to know how to use twitter, feacebook, and...
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    ScoMo’s revenge.

    I think you will get a laugh out of this - COVID 19 is actually ScoMo’s revenge....





    1. We wouldn’t shake his hand - now nobody can shake hands 🤚


    2. We didn’t like him having an...
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    Idiots in 2019

    Number One Idiot
    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre.
    Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating...
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    Sticky: Sprint

    Sprint
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    You know me well :D Actually I do have an older...

    You know me well :D Actually I do have an older brother, never met him though, and he's not lost in the portal.
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    Clean up your room

    8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff
    Me: like what?
    8yo: Like if we don't clean up our room, a portal will open and take us to another dimension
    Me: Well that's what happened...
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    Sticky: Radio Etiquette

    Radio Etiquette
  21. Thread: 2053

    by KBs PensNmore
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    2053

    It was a quiet day in September 2053....


    470256


    It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053 when John awoke with the need to go to the toilet.


    To John this wasn’t just any...
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    Sticky: Tar and Feathered

    Tar and Feathered
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    Our Woodturning Club as do some of our other...

    Our Woodturning Club as do some of our other members use these for demonstrations; Gorilla Height Adjustable Domestic Work Platform | Bunnings Warehouse Mind you we're only doing small stuff, like...
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    A Few Good Chuckles

    CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
    Customer: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Paddy was inconsolable when his dog went...
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    470175

    470175
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    Same in SA, tried for 3 days to get bread, NONE,...

    Same in SA, tried for 3 days to get bread, NONE, not even $5.00 a loaf. Got some this morning at 7.30AM, there were only about a dozen loaves left, normally about 100 loaves there!!!!!!
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    Sticky: Yawn!!!

    Yawn!!!
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    I'm amazed that people will pay more for bottled...

    I'm amazed that people will pay more for bottled water than they do for petrol, yet quibble about the price of petrol.
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    Sticky: Tiles

    Tiles
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    Toilet Paper

    Worked out why Toilet paper is in such short supply, when someone sneezes or coughs, everyone s**ts themselves.
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    Sticky: Stinky

    Stinky
  32. Years ago my father had to assist the local...

    Years ago my father had to assist the local Police Officer get a man out of the outhouse as he'd passed away and fell against the door. I've ALWAYS hated the doors opening inwards for that very...
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    This Week Ends Funnies

    Many people have asked, "Why did the British wear red coats in battle?"


    A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him...
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    Sticky: Punky

    Punky
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    New Roof.

    The local Church was in need of a new roof.
    To help the funding of the replacement,
    the Minister advised the congregation,
    that whoever donated the most money, could choose three Hymns.
    As the...
  36. And the Moral of the story is.............

    Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.


    The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him...
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    Female Quarters on U. S. Navy Ships

    US Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers.

    While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised,...
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    A Few Funnies

    Things haven't been the same since my accident.
    What accident was that.
    The one where I accidentally got my finger stuck in a Wedding ring.

    469699

    A bus full of housewives going on a picnic...
  39. Thread: Duracell

    by KBs PensNmore
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    In regards to the metal in the beaks, I keep...

    In regards to the metal in the beaks, I keep looking to see if any of them have headphones hooked up to a little recording saying "Breathe In, Breathe Out".
  40. Thread: Duracell

    by KBs PensNmore
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    That's shocking.

    That's shocking.
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    Sticky: Gloves

    Gloves
  42. Thread: Custody

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Hi Bob, The joke, how I see it, is how the judge...

    Hi Bob, The joke, how I see it, is how the judge awarded him the custody because of a stupid answer. Pointing out that judges are REALLY out of touch with reality. You only have to look at the way...
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    Hi Sally and Welcome to the group. There were...

    Hi Sally and Welcome to the group. There were good times at Doen.

    I think I met his grammar once, she seemed like a nice lady.
    Kryn
  44. Thread: Custody

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Custody

    A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.


    The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had...
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    Sticky: Find

    Find
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    FREE: VIC Parcel received thank you, the BSA bloke is...

    Parcel received thank you, the BSA bloke is stoked.
    Thanks again,
    Kryn
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    Sticky: Cremated

    Cremated
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    Sticky: Grim

    Grim
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    Lie Detector

    A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.


    He decides to test it out at dinner one night.


    The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.


    The son says, "I...
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    Sticky: Toggle

    Toggle
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