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Type: Posts; User: KBs PensNmore

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    If you decide to go, try going during Whale...

    If you decide to go, try going during Whale season, I think it finishes in September, they can be seen from the head of the Bight, well worth the visit!!!! Can't remember if a cost is involved, as...
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    Thanks for the LATE information Chris!!! One of...

    Thanks for the LATE information Chris!!! One of the blokes at work "borrowed" mine, and now the only way
    I can keep a drill bit tight, is to put the chuck into the vise and tighten it by twisting...
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    Pine is in short supply EVERYWHERE, I needed 40...

    Pine is in short supply EVERYWHERE, I needed 40 lengths of 75X32 for a project, but can only get a 1/4 total of that from the now 3 suppliers in town. A couple of builders have basically stopped...
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    Sticky: Taurus

    Taurus
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    I ran over a fox once, NEVER AGAIN!!!! I'd rather...

    I ran over a fox once, NEVER AGAIN!!!! I'd rather run the car into a ditch!!!!
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    Dying Mother Superior

    In Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying.

    The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable.
    ...
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    When a little child walked in on Mum and Dad, he...

    When a little child walked in on Mum and Dad, he said "What you doing?", one of the parents replied, "Making you a baby brother or sister" The child replied, "Can you roll her over, I'd rather have a...
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    Never trust a cricketer

    Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
    Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

    Dandier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,
    Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your...
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    Should children witness childbirth?

    Here's your answer.


    Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her...
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    Little old lady in court

    Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

    Old Lady: I am 94 years old.

    Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

    Old Lady:...
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    Holy Day set by Florida Court

    In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. ...
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    Guard Duty

    A young Sapper is on the gate at Buckingham palace.

    The RSM walks up to him and says "Right lad, the Queen is out on public duties I want to know the minute she gets back here, do you understand?...
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    Daytime Television

    A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. ‘Do you watch much television here?’


    “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At...
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    The Guardian Angel

    A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, "Don't take a step further."
    She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would have otherwise been.
    She thinks she...
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    2 Senior Widows

    Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.

    Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him...
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    The Sheer Nightgown

    A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.


    He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price… the more sheer, the higher the...
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    Birds and the Bees

    The teacher was telling the kids at a Banora Point school about the birds and bees and explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a...
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    I've one here that needs assembly, IF you're...

    I've one here that needs assembly, IF you're looking for something to do?:D
    Kryn
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    Sticky: Macadamised

    Macadamised
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    Grandma's Picture

    A man at a nudist camp gets a letter from his mother requesting his photograph.
    Since the only photographs he had were taken in the nude, he cut one in half
    and mailed her the photo from the waist...
  21. I used to have a bloke who worked for me with a...

    I used to have a bloke who worked for me with a nickname of taillight, when asked why I gave him that nickname,
    my reply, cos you're not bright enough for a brake light!!!!!
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    What is Celibacy?

    Celibacy can be a choice in life,
    Or a condition imposed by circumstances.

    While attending a Marriage Weekend,
    my wife and I, listened to the instructor declare,
    'It is essential that...
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    Sticky: Status Quo

    Status Quo
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    Confessional

    A new priest, born and raised in Moe comes to serve in a city parish and
    is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit
    in on his sessions.


    The new priest hears a...
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    Four married guys go fishing.

    After an hour, the following conversation took place:

    Max: You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room...
  26. Thread: Cuckoo!

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Cuckoo!

    Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

    The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
    I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I...
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    PUNishments

    1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.


    2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis?


    3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.


    4. Why do bees stay in their hives during...
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    Sticky: Fowl

    Fowl
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    In the Pub

    An Irishman walks into a Pub and orders 2 pints of Guinness.
    He then proceeds to pull a little green skinned man from his pocket and puts him on the counter.
    An Englishman who's at the other end of...
  30. Thread: Vaseline

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Vaseline

    A man doing market research for the 'Vaseline Company' knocked at a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

    “I’m doing some research for...
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    Allan, is it possible to OFFEND you???:D Kryn

    Allan, is it possible to OFFEND you???:D
    Kryn
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    In the Ditch

    While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a kangaroo, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

    Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the...
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    How True is This

    Let me get this straight?
    I go to the Grocery Store to buy a kilo of sliced ham wrapped in plastic, a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, 4 litres of milk in a plastic container, a pack of napkins...
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    Anyone Interested

    Rugby Tickets Lions V Springboks
    2nd Test 31st July 2021 Cape Town
    This may be of interest to you.
    A friend of mine has two tickets in a Corporate Box for Lions V SA. He paid 300 pounds each, but...
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    Will I see Ninety????

    I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor.


    After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am eighty).


    A little concerned about that...
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    Making a baby.

    There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to...
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    The Toilet Seat

    The other half has been onto me for months to redo the toilet seat, so I got out the urethane, mixed the hardener in with it and proceeded to paint it. I had to do a few errands when I finished, so...
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    Post Office Workers

    There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

    One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual...
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    Sticky: Floor

    Floor
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    Couldn't get a gig doing comedy stuff at night,...

    Couldn't get a gig doing comedy stuff at night, so gotta work during the day, or starve:D
    Kryn
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    3 Sisters, 96,94.92

    Three sisters aged 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.


    She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"...
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    Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry

    Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist was enjoying the artistry in front of all the Chinese restaurants, shops signs and banners. However, when he turned a corner he saw a building...
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    Joe from Bendigo.

    Old Joe had tripped on the footpath and blood was dripping on the ground.
    A passer-by stopped and asked Joe if he was OK, and asked "where he was bleeding from".
    Joe muttered "From Bendigo, if you...
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    Go and do some wood turning.

    My wife came in and asked me could I go and do some wood turning on the lathe.
    "Ah" I asked, "What would you like, a dibber, rolling pin or possibly a vase?? I have Persimmon, Hickory, Mesquite, a...
  45. Thread: In a bar

    by KBs PensNmore
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    Two blokes walk into a Bar, You'd have thought...

    Two blokes walk into a Bar,
    You'd have thought one of them would have seen it!!!!!!
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    I don't touch the stuff, myself. The only thing I...

    I don't touch the stuff, myself. The only thing I know about beer, is that Draught beer is the only one that shows the manufacturer on the label.
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    Great Northern Fishing Trip

    I went fishing this morning, but it wasn't long before I ran out of bait.
    Then I saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Frogs are good Bass bait.
    Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with a frog in...
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    Sticky: Butt Face

    Butt Face
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    The Honeymoon's Over

    This is a story about a newlywed couple who had only been married for two weeks.

    The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .
    ...
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    I refuse to hand over my cards, when you punch in...

    I refuse to hand over my cards, when you punch in your pin number, do you see them disinfect the keypad afterwards???????
    I've seen them spray the conveyor belt, and everything else but!!!!!
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