Search:

Type: Posts; User: Allan at Wallan

Page 1 of 66 1 2 3 4

Search: Search took 0.23 seconds.

  1. Replies
    2
    Views
    515

    Whoops! Just reading other jokes and notice...

    Whoops! Just reading other jokes and notice Chief Tiff has used this in his response.
    My apologies mate … did not see yours until after I had posted mine.
  2. Replies
    2
    Views
    515

    Ahhh, there are usually three rings involved....

    Ahhh, there are usually three rings involved.
    The engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the dreaded suffering.
  3. Thread: Vegans

    by Allan at Wallan
    Replies
    5
    Views
    837

    Vegans

    A bloke recently said to me, "Men who sell meat are gross"
    I replied, "Men who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer".
  4. Replies
    9
    Views
    3,678

    Have hardly been on the Forum lately and just...

    Have hardly been on the Forum lately and just noticed this thread.
    Thank you for your best wishes.
    Alan
  5. Replies
    4
    Views
    520

    Kryn, Have faith in me mate (lol).

    Kryn, Have faith in me mate (lol).
  6. Replies
    4
    Views
    520

    Faith healer meeting

    I went to a meeting with friends to a faith healer last night.
    He was so boring three blokes in wheelchairs got up and ran home.

    :doh:
  7. Replies
    0
    Views
    420

    Tangle with the law

    The local cop pulled me over the other night and bellowed at me, "Get out of the car, NOW".
    I replied, "I'm too drunk, would you mind getting in instead"?

    :D:;:D
  8. Replies
    6
    Views
    565

    What a great result. Congratulations on your...

    What a great result.
    Congratulations on your determination and persistence … well done!
  9. Replies
    18
    Views
    13,101

    Not before time. Now get to it and contribute...

    Not before time.

    Now get to it and contribute again!
  10. Replies
    0
    Views
    1,465

    Alligators

    I read the other day that alligators can grow
    up to 15 feet.

    The ones I have seen only have 4.
  11. Replies
    9
    Views
    1,471

    Good onya Kryn! I know it weighed 13.25kg as I...

    Good onya Kryn!

    I know it weighed 13.25kg as I checked the scales on it's back as I was reeling it in.
    :U

    Gotcha!
  12. Replies
    9
    Views
    1,471

    I am disappointed ... no one has taken the bait...

    I am disappointed ... no one has taken the bait yet.
    :U
  13. Replies
    0
    Views
    2,388

    Kilmore art expo 2019

    Time again for Northern Woodturners Club to join in the fun by having a sales table at
    the annual Kilmore Art Expo.

    It is being held Friday night, April 12th from 6pm then on Saturday 13th and...
  14. Replies
    9
    Views
    1,471

    Giant snapper caught.

    Whilst out fishing in Port Phillip Bay recently I was using a relatively light kit
    which included 2kg strain line.
    I managed to catch a monster snapper which weighed 13.25 kgs but unfortunately...
  15. Replies
    61
    Views
    11,084

    What a magnificent result. Love the grain and it...

    What a magnificent result.
    Love the grain and it blends in nicely with the Cigar kit.
  16. Replies
    7
    Views
    1,939

    Welcome David, What part of Melbourne do you...

    Welcome David,

    What part of Melbourne do you reside in?
  17. Replies
    16
    Views
    2,003

    Congratulations Brad - magnificent result. I...

    Congratulations Brad - magnificent result.
    I have found Horistes Burl to be very hard on the chisels
    but obviously you have finished it perfectly.
  18. Replies
    9
    Views
    3,678

    We all need good knees.

    Twelve months ago I was wheeling my wheelbarrow backwards out of the woodshed and failed to notice my aluminium ladder in the way.
    I got tangled up with it where my left leg was scissored in it and...
  19. Replies
    1
    Views
    1,964

    Sorry to hear of their passing. I did not know...

    Sorry to hear of their passing. I did not know Fred (aka Gary) but have met Rodney (Rodent) on a couple of occasions.
    We have lost five members of our club in recent times which is concerning but...
  20. Replies
    7
    Views
    1,591

    Stay safe you chaps. What a crazy country we...

    Stay safe you chaps. What a crazy country we live in with floods, fires and dust storms to contend with.
    Hope you are out of harm's way.
  21. Replies
    10
    Views
    2,519

    Welcxome to the Forum Brent. You will find...

    Welcxome to the Forum Brent. You will find heaps of knowledgeable woodturners on here willing to give you info
    as you get into the hobby. It is many years since I visited Mortlake but would...
  22. Replies
    48
    Views
    40,987

    See what you started Kryn - you gave us a lead...

    See what you started Kryn - you gave us a lead for dog jokes.
  23. Replies
    3
    Views
    1,902

    Food costs.

    Just to let you know:
    A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00.
    However the same sized slice in the Bahamas is $2.50.
    These are the "Pie rates of the Caribbean".
    :B
  24. Replies
    13
    Views
    2,020

    A very warm welcome to you Mick - you live in a...

    A very warm welcome to you Mick - you live in a fabulous part of the world.
    I was most impressed when visiting there years ago with all the murals on display.
    Enjoy this Forum - they are a great...
  25. Replies
    44
    Views
    18,398

    The better proposition would have been to join a...

    The better proposition would have been to join a local woodturning club where you would get sensible advice on the brand and quality of lathes,
    the proper choice of quality chisels and be taught to...
  26. Replies
    45
    Views
    14,580

    This is all too confusing. If daylight saving...

    This is all too confusing.
    If daylight saving starts to affect our blinds then it's curtains for us.
  27. Replies
    5
    Views
    1,650

    Thank your for your responses - I have followed...

    Thank your for your responses - I have followed them up without success, however I may be in luck at the Victorian Hobby Centre at 21 Swanston St
    in Melbourne. I did try to get there on Thursday...
  28. Replies
    48
    Views
    40,987

    I'll keep a watch out for you punsters.

    I'll keep a watch out for you punsters.
  29. Replies
    5
    Views
    1,650

    Brass square tubing

    Looking for a small length of brass square tubing
    8mm outer - 6mm inner.
    Did not think it would be hard to find but wearing my fingers out on
    the phone and using plenty of petrol driving around....
  30. Replies
    12
    Views
    1,821

    Might pay to examine your choice of chisel,...

    Might pay to examine your choice of chisel, method of presentation to the wood,
    as you might be too aggressive. Sharp chisels are a definite advantage.
  31. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    After much hassling I have Windows 10, Word &...

    After much hassling I have Windows 10, Word & Windows 2016 and my FujiXerox all working ok.
    Scanner does not want to cooperate but that is not the end of the world.
    Interestingly the computer shop...
  32. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,171

    Welcome aboard. I live in Wallan (about 35 mins...

    Welcome aboard.
    I live in Wallan (about 35 mins away).
    Lots to learn on this site - great group of people.
  33. Replies
    0
    Views
    1,387

    Cop that

    A policeman knocked on my door last night and sternly asked me,
    "Where were you between 5 and 6"?

    Although he looked a little irritated I answered, "Probably at kindergarten".

    Gee those batons...
  34. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,171

    Hi boo53, What part of Central Victoria are...

    Hi boo53,

    What part of Central Victoria are you located.

    Alan
  35. Replies
    34
    Views
    3,048

    I will make a trunk call and find out.

    I will make a trunk call and find out.
  36. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    Hi all, Many thanks for taking the time to...

    Hi all,
    Many thanks for taking the time to respond. I finally "cracked a wobbly" and purchased a new computer.
    It has Windows 10 and is as fast as greased lightning. However it has given me...
  37. Replies
    3
    Views
    1,257

    Great work Brad. The timber and the kit blend...

    Great work Brad.

    The timber and the kit blend in beautifully together.
  38. Replies
    4
    Views
    1,624

    George and the dragon

    A homeless guy is walking along a country lane, tired and hungry, when he sees a pub named "George and the Dragon".
    Although it is closed he knocks on the door. The innkeeper's wife stuck her head...
  39. Replies
    20
    Views
    3,538

    Exceptional work Hughie - well done.

    Exceptional work Hughie - well done.
  40. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    Geez Cliff, Was hoping you could give me some...

    Geez Cliff,
    Was hoping you could give me some better news than that.
    Looks like I will have to bite the bullet and shell out a few shillings.
    Thanks mate.
  41. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    A few technical details which I just looked at...

    A few technical details which I just looked at which may help.
    Pentium (R) Dual core CPU
    E5200 @ 2.50 GHz
    2.50 GHz 2.99 GB of RAM
    Physical address extension

    Microsoft Windows XP
    Professional...
  42. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    Probably about 8 years old at a guess Cliff.

    Probably about 8 years old at a guess Cliff.
  43. Replies
    11
    Views
    2,345

    Screen freezes up

    For the last couple of weeks my screen has been simply stopping in it's tracks and there does not appear to be any consistency to it. I can open half a dozen emails successfully then it will freeze...
  44. Replies
    7
    Views
    1,752

    Water based joke

    Wife comes home and tells husband the car is not working because
    it has water in the carby.

    Husband replies, "Rubbish, you probably do not even know where the carby is.
    I will go and check it...
  45. Replies
    0
    Views
    1,648

    A good sign

    I have been complaining for a while that my family do not respect me
    enough, so to try and change their behaviour I got a sign and placed
    it on the door.

    It stated, "I am the boss, so respect...
  46. Replies
    1
    Views
    885

    Dabbling in dibbers

    Twelve months ago a local bloke purchased a gardening dibber from me and the other day he rang to complain.

    Naturally I wondered just what could go wrong as they are simple items.

    When...
  47. Replies
    1
    Views
    1,377

    Canned food

    At the factory making canned food they first get the staff to
    try it out. They put the mixture in a big vat and give staff members a spoon.

    They eat what they can and what they can't they can.
  48. Replies
    3
    Views
    1,632

    That one was completely original ... must confess...

    That one was completely original ... must confess that I usually pinch
    jokes from other sources.
  49. Replies
    3
    Views
    1,632

    Ice problem

    The Victorian Drug Squad have taken off in a row boat this
    morning bound for Antarctica.

    They are investigating a rumour that the penguins down there
    are on ice.

    :D
  50. Replies
    5
    Views
    1,466

    More "moans" and "groans" than you would hear at...

    More "moans" and "groans" than you would hear at the Womens Hospital.
    Thought someone would moan that I should have spelled it "thesaurus" (lol).
Results 1 to 50 of 3294
Page 1 of 66 1 2 3 4