Big Boyz Lathe

[ubeaut]

Christopher had a big boys lathe, it was enormous. Big and chunky heavy and very powerful. For years he tried to sell it, but to no avail. Many had committed to a sale but all had pulled out at the last moment.

Why? That's simple it was painted a soft baby blue and when it was turned on, it made a noise that sounded like "Ohhhhh thweeeetiee".

In a last ditched attempt to rid himself of his happy lathe Christopher decided to ....

[JackoH]

...gin or three,(with a minute amount of tonic water).
This tipple gave him a brilliant idea. "I know what I'll do, I,ll offer it to Doorstop, he's a sucker for big brightly painted things. After all sucked him in beautifully when he flogged him the Jolly Green Giant".
With that he....

[John Saxton]

...of poor John having to cope with vertically challenged horses in close proximity to his workshop the mere thought of such a colourful prize in his shop was more than he could bear so he then .....

[John Saxton]

..Suggested that nothing of Doorstop's workshop machinery was going to upset his prized animals and therefore Doorstop was going to have to....

[JackoH]

...his bloody computer back on line following the recent death of his modem, now replaced by a brand new "Made in China" model.
What the general public did not know however was that John (he WHOSE WIFE is the lover of vertically challenged ponies) was at heart a sailor,who longed to go back to the days of his youth (comparative!) when he ventured out onto Port Philip Bay in a mighty Heron sailing dinghy.
So realising that to do this he would have to start at the bottom, so to speak, decided that the Big Blue Ba#@*:d (sorry,beauty)would make a lovely boat, even ship mooring, so derived a cunning stunt. "I'll get Neil to deliver it by sea. He can put it on a barge and row it across the bay from Sleepy Hollow (Needs local knowledge,this does!) and
when he reaches the St Kilda Marina I,ll ram him.The B.B.B will immediately go to the bottom and I'll have a beautiful mooring. Then I can invite Doorstop to fill his boat with lovely Coonawarra Reds, sail over here.We''ll tie up to the B.B.B. and have one hell of a party. But......