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  1. 23rd November 2006, 09:57 AM #1
    rrich Guest

    Default Outback surrival kit

    The Outback Surrival kit comes in a sealed box. The contents are a bottle of Gin, a small bottle of Vermouth, a small jar of olives and an ice cube tray filled with water attached to a device that instantly freezes the water.

    Included with the kit is an instruction sheet, titled, "How To Make The Perfect Martini."

    Should you ever get lost in the Outback, just open the surrival kit, freeze the water and announce that you are making 'The Perfect Martini'. At this point 15 people will suddenly appear, 5 people will be telling you that you're making the Martini incorrectly, 5 more people telling how to make a perfect Martini, 4 people wanting to sample your Martini to explain what is wrong with it and one person to tell of evils of drinking alcohol. Any of these people can lead you to the nearest city or town.

    The woddies version of the kit contains a Tormek, sheet of glass, high speed grinder, a supply of sand paper, wet stones, oil stones, diamond strops and an instruction sheet titled, "How to sharpen your tools to a perfect edge."

    I think that you know the rest of the scenario...

    You may now be wondering, which method does the Yank use to sharpen his tools?


    Well, I'm not about to step into that poop!
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  3. 23rd November 2006, 10:09 AM #2
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    Cliff Rogers
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    Quote Originally Posted by rrich View Post
    ...The woddies version of the kit contains a ....
    Very good.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.
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  4. 23rd November 2006, 10:14 AM #3
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    Today survival needs a radio included whatever you do. Or any other way to keep up with the Ashes

    Wongo excluded, Ping?
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  5. 23rd November 2006, 01:31 PM #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by rrich View Post
    Well, I'm not about to step into that poop!
    Wish GWB had said that!

    Very good joke, especially the woody's version.
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  6. 24th November 2006, 04:59 PM #5
    rrich Guest

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    [quote=AlexS;415220]Wish GWB had said that!

    Me and about 100,000,000 of my fellow countrymen agree with you!

    At times I do envy Australia! It seems that your leaders are not the perfect idiots that we have.
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  7. 24th November 2006, 07:49 PM #6
    coastie
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    Don't kid yourself
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  8. 24th November 2006, 07:53 PM #7
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    coastie. Are your suggesting any one of them IS perfect?
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  9. 24th November 2006, 08:50 PM #8
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    [QUOTE=rrich;416153]
    Quote Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
    Wish GWB had said that!

    Me and about 100,000,000 of my fellow countrymen agree with you!

    At times I do envy Australia! It seems that your leaders are not the perfect idiots that we have.
    Idiots, yes, perhaps not perfect, but complete.
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  10. 24th November 2006, 09:18 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by rrich
    The Outback Surrival

    Included with the kit is an instruction sheet, titled, "How To Make The Perfect Martini."

    Should you ever get lost in the Outback, just open the surrival kit, freeze the water and announce that you are making 'The Perfect Martini'.

    The woddies version of the kit contains a Tormek, sheet of glass, high speed grinder, a supply of sand paper, wet stones, oil stones, diamond strops and an instruction sheet titled, "How to sharpen your tools to a perfect edge."

    I think that you know the rest of the scenario...

    You may now be wondering, which method does the Yank use to sharpen his tools?

    ENGLISH version shaken not stirred of course.
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  11. 28th November 2006, 04:24 PM #10
    rrich Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by John Saxton View Post
    ENGLISH version shaken not stirred of course.
    Introducing ONE of the Fifteen.
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