Playing around . . .


A bloke takes a week’s leave and decides to play a round of golf everyday. First thing Monday he sets off on his first round and gradually catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and as he gets closer to her on a Par 3, he sees that she is a stunner.

He suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a very close match ensues. She turns out to be a talented golfer and she wins their little match on the last hole. He congratulates her in the car park then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning. On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. When they reach her place she tells him she wants to show him how much she has appreciated the day. They kiss passionately but before things progress further, she pulls away and goes indoors.

The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. Being a very competitive character, he’s a bit peeved that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing a tight round of golf. Again she pips him at the last and again he drives her home and once again they kiss passionately before she waves him off.

This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but nevertheless while he’s taking her home on Friday he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has planned a surprise. Dinner for two at a candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a city hotel.

She burst into tears and says she can't agree to this. He’s amazed at her reaction and wants to know how he managed to misjudge the situation between them so badly. After a lot of hesitation she eventually admits the truth.

"You see," she says, "I'm a transvestite.”

He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.

"I'm sorry" she (he!) repeats.

"You bastard!" he screams. "How could you do this!? You bastard!”

“I’m sorry! I should have told you before now. Before it got this far!”

“Too bloody right you should,” he yells. “You cheating bastard, you've been playing off the ladies’ tees all week!!"